Page 80 of Pretty Savage: Defy

The cross hovers between us.

“This is a key. It will open doors so you can follow him into those places.”

“It’s a brand, to burn me.” I take in the dark metal, cold now, and imagine it glowing red. Imagine the pain, the smoke, when it touches my skin.

“It is both.”

I think about Carrson, who would rather tear apart The Order than watch it hurt me.

But I know what tearing apart The Order would cost him. I know how many people depend on him, fear him, or wait for him to become the man who takes Carr’s place. Loving Carrson will never mean loving only the parts of him that exist in bedrooms, on rooftops, or in the stolen hours when we pretend the rest of the world can’t reach us.

There will always be locked doors. People coming for us.

Unless I can stop them.

“When I was young, I thought I could control The Order. I believed Carr and I would rise high enough to decide what it became.”

“You didn’t?”

“No.”

I expect sadness, but anger fuels her words. Her mouth tightens, and her eyes go hard.

“There was a glass ceiling over my head so clear I didn’t know it existed until I struck it. Do you know who put it there?”

I shake my head.

“Men.” She returns to the brazier and lowers the iron into the glowing coals. “Give them enough power, and it corrupts them. They stop asking what serves The Order and start asking what keeps them in control. They hoard money, influence, and access until protecting their own position becomes the only purpose.”

“But you believe in The Order. You fought to join it.”

“I believe in what it could be, not what it is now. I thought if I worked hard enough, long enough, I could make it right.” She breathes out a bitter laugh. “I failed.”

The coals brighten around the iron.

“Now, there’s only one way forward.” Her back is straight, her chin level, as though she’s delivering an argument before the Senate instead of standing in an ancient chamber under a mansion.

“Destroy it.”

She leaves the rod in the brazier and returns to me, stopping far enough away that I could still move past her.

“You won’t be safe, and you won’t be able to protect Carrson. Not as long as The Order stands.” Her eyes narrow slightly. “You know that, don’t you?”

“I do.”

I watch her, searching for the trap. Is she trying to turn me into a traitor so she can slip a noose around my neck later, or is she really inviting me into her plan?

“Are you suggesting I help you take on The Order?”

“Yes, I am.” She leans down and pulls the plug at the bottom of the bathtub. It lets go with a hollow pop. The water lets out a final burst of sweet, floral scent, then gurgles as it empties. “I’ve gathered evidence. Made allies.” She dries her hands on a towel. “It isn’t enough. I’m too visible. Every meeting I attend, every question I ask, someone notices.”

She looks me over.

“But not you. They underestimate you. They see an outsider. A frightened girl Carrson dragged into their world. They won’t realize what you’re capable of until it’s too late.”

Silas’s drawl returns with startling clarity.

The Order thinks you’re a pawn but, darling, I think you’re the queen. The endgame.