Page 19 of Want You

Smart people are experts in convincing themselves of bullshit. Look at all the brainiacs that get sucked into various schemes.

LAWGIRL

That may be the most factual thing I’ve ever read.

BLAZE94

Thanks!

LAWGIRL

Can I ask you something?

BLAZE94

Always!

LAWGIRL

Are you any closer to being comfortable with meeting in person?

His next message was right there, but on the day, she remembered having to wait a while. She’d gotten up at one point and made herself a cup of tea, pacing back and forth in front of the kettle until it whistled and made her jump. She’d never spent this long just talking to someone before. At most, she’d lasted a week before agreeing to meet with them, but Blaze94 had been very resistant to the idea at first and she’d decided not to push. But three weeks of chatting all day, every day, had her anxious to meet him.

Her hopes were already high. They hadn’t traded images of their faces, something Octavia had considered asking about, but they exchanged pictures that showed off pieces of who they were. He’d shown her his living room and kitchen, the two spaces he spent most of his time while they chatted after work. She sent him a picture of the book she was reading, laying open across her legs, her thick socks peeking out at the end, nearly identical to the one that was still his profile image.

BLAZE94

Remember the picture you sent me? In your living room?

LAWGIRL

Yes…

BLAZE94

I want to sit in there and read with you.

It had been the most forward thing he’d said so far. In all their chats, he’d never said anything remotely sexual. It was as refreshing as it was frustrating. She’d typed seven different replies before he’d told her to just say whatever it was she was trying to say.

LAWGIRL

Just sit and read?

BLAZE94

I want to do EVERYTHING in there with you. I’m out of the city this week but maybe next week if you’re available?

BLAZE94

Please be available.

She read those words over and over again, her vision blurring as the tears came. She knew that they could meet and the fantasy she’d crafted could implode, but fuck she still wanted to see if this had been real. If this still could be real.

Octavia slammed the laptop shut and tossed it to the unoccupied side of her bed before curling up on her side. All the euphoria from earlier completely gone from her body, an endless pit of emptiness left in its wake as she drifted off to sleep on her tear-stained pillow.

CHAPTER 8

NATHAN