Page 76 of Want You

Octavia had lost count of how many times she’d checked her phone while stuck on the streetcar on her way home from the library. It was unlike Nathan to not reply by now. She knew he had gone home after practice and was having dinner with his brother. There was no real reason why he wouldn’t respond.

Unless, maybe they were doing brother things. Nathan had mentioned how he was looking forward to video game nights like old times with Scottie. Maybe they’d started playing something and got carried away. She’d had boyfriends who’d been like that, got lost in a game. It wasn’t something she loved all that much. But then again, she’d been caught doing the same with a book.

That’s what was going on, it was nothing and she was being paranoid. Trying to find something to worry about instead of just going with the flow. She’d been doing well with the flow thing up until now, so she was capable.

She fired one more text off letting him know she hoped he was having fun with his brother and understood if he didn’t make it back to her bed that night.

Except he didn’t make it back the next night either.

She’d be worried he was dead except there he was on her screen skating around the ice.

Her texts sat there, unread.

It was weird and completely out of character for the man she’d fallen for. And that’s what sent her spiralling as she wondered how well she actually knew him. If it had all been an act then he was in the wrong profession. He could be making millions in warmer climates acting in movies and winning Oscars. He’d make a killing in Hollywood and his body wouldn’t be broken and bruised constantly.

She paced her living room wondering if she should race to his place and confront him, but with his brother there she didn’t know how comfortable she’d be doing that. She pulled her coat on and off several times before deciding that she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how desperate she was to know what was going on.

She was angrily pulling on her pyjamas when she heard the front door open and her heart stopped.

The sound of his coat being hung next to hers. The huff as he slipped his shoes off, likely because his body ached from the game. Then the slow, almost reserved steps up the stairs.

Seconds later, there he was, standing in her door and looking like he’d been dragged through hell between the last time she’d seen him and now.

Neither moved and Octavia felt her heart begin to crack open. Usually, Nathan barely made it into a room she was in before his hands were on her. Tonight, the five feet between them felt further than any FaceTime they’d ever had.

“I need to tell you something.” His voice came out barely above a whisper and Octavia felt the crack deepen.

He hadn’t answered because he’d been with someone else. He was moving on. He was done pretending to love her. He was about to be publicly accused of something. Scenarios whipped up in her mind like a tornado.

“You may want to sit down,” he said, swallowing as his hands disappeared into his pockets.

Octavia stared at where his hands had gone, wishing they were on her instead. This all felt wrong.

She backed up and slowly sat on her bed, forcing herself to look at him.

“So—”

“Who is she?” she blurted out.

Nathan blinked back. “What?”

“Who were you with last night?” She hated the desperation in her voice. Hated how fucking pathetic she sounded.

Whatever had been holding Nathan back seemed to snap and he was suddenly kneeling at her feet, hands grasping her thighs as if he was afraid she was about to spring up and run away.

“I didn’t cheat on you, Octavia. I was with Scottie puking my guts out.”

“You were sick?”

“Yes. No…well, sort of.” Nathan stumbled over his words, doing nothing to put her mind at ease. “I um, found something out and I didn’t handle it well.”

“What?”

This close, Octavia could see how tired he looked. His eyes were red-rimmed with dark circles under them like he’d been crying and not sleeping.

“I don’t even know how to say this. I’ve been going over and over it but, just know this is uncharted territory and I don’t ev⁠—”

“Oh my god, what did you give me?” Octavia gasped, jumping up and moving away.