Page 133 of The Monster and the Masochist

“Yeah,” I rasped. “I’m fucked up, Cassandra. After these last two days, any sane person would be done with me. I just… I just figured I would make it easy for you and bounce.”

Her brows pinched together, and her all-black eyes searched my face as she processed what I’d just said.

After a long moment, a terrifyingly unhinged smile curled across her lips. She leaned forward to press her mouth directly against my ear. I hissed as her hot breath on my neck caused my nipples to contract and my toes to curl.

“If you think that we are sane, you have not been paying attention, street fighter.”

Uhmm… What?

Too turned on and terrified to respond, I did my best to remain perfectly limp and submissive beneath the clearly insane and lethal predator that was currently pinning me down.

When Cass pulled back to look at me again, the warmer version of herself flickered in and out of focus, and she gently stroked the side of my face.

She was looking at me like… Like I was something precious. Something to be protected and… loved.

My eyes stung with tears, and her dark gaze tracked the first tear as it slid down my cheek. Quietly, she leaned over me, kissing and licking my tears away as I struggled to get myself under control.

“If you try to leave again, I don’t know if I can stop it. You need to be good and stay here, Theodora. Don’t make me do something we’ll both regret,” she whispered.

The threat of her words directly contrasted with the tenderness of her actions as she continued to kiss me over and over again.

Her soft lips touched every inch of my swollen, abused face, and I shivered as she stroked her nails gently through my hair.

My chest was so full of emotion, I suddenly couldn’t handle even the small sliver of space that still separated us.

Tentatively, I wrapped my arms around her waist in an attempt to hold her tighter against me.

She made a purring sound and nuzzled her face into my neck, inhaling deeply as if she wanted to get high off my scent as much as I wanted to get high off hers.

“Okay, Cassandra.” I swallowed. “I’ll stay.”

It took every ounce of self-control I had to keep it together long enough to get Theo changed into clean clothes and tucked safely into our bed.

I’d forced myself to be still and calm as she curled into me, resting her poor, swollen face in the crook of my arm. Holding her gently, I kissed the top of her head over and over again until she finally fell asleep against my chest.

Despite knowing I wouldn’t be sleeping at all, I’d set alarms on my phone for every two hours until morning to ensure I could check in on her as the medic had instructed.

Once her breathing leveled out and I knew she was asleep, I gently untangled myself from her warm embrace. My monster was still furious, and I’d barely been able to keep it in its cage when Theo had tried to leave us earlier.

I’d sat on the bathroom floor, struggling to get it back under control as it raged and slammed relentlessly at the bars of its cage.

It had almost broken free.

If it managed to get out, I didn’t even want to think about what I might have done to Theodora.

She was already so broken and hurt.

The last thing she needed was me losing control and giving in to my monster when she was already barely hanging on.

Stalking silently through my dark penthouse, I made my way to my wine fridge, hoping a glass of pinot would help calm me down enough to decide what I was going to do next.

I was plagued with memories of how close I had come to losing control over my monster, and my hands were shaking by the time I made it to the kitchen.

‘STOP HER!’ it had roared, raking its claws down the soft, vulnerable walls of my heart. The thing had slammed against the bars of its cage in a desperate attempt to break free from the prison I’d worked so hard to keep it in all these years. ‘TIE HER TO THE BED! CAGE HER! CARVE OUR NAMES INTO HER FLESH!!!!’

The things it had tried to make me do to her made my skin crawl. It was still furious with me for refusing to listen, but it had calmed slightly now that Theo was no longer threatening to leave us.

‘You are weak,’ it growled at me, disgust and contempt lacing each syllable.