Page 149 of The Monster and the Masochist

“Anyway, I’ve been learning a lot reading that book. Apparently, sexuality is way more fluid than I realized… and I… I just… I don’t know…”

His brow was furrowed, and he wasn’t even directly looking at me anymore. He seemed to be desperately trying to organize his thoughts into something coherent, and it was strangely endearing to see him like this. Usually, he was so confident and well spoken. This vulnerable, unsure side of him was making me see him in a completely different light. It was taking everything in me not to interrupt him as he continued, but I stayed quiet, wanting him to get out whatever it was he was trying to say.

“With all the stuff that’s been going on lately, it made me realize I don’t know shit about the LGBTQ+ community. I don’t know what is and isn’t okay to say to someone who is a part of it, so I figured, you know, I should probably try to learn so I don’t say anymore offside shit to you… or anyone else for that matter. I don’t want to make people uncomfortable or make them feel like I have a problem with them, just because I’m clearly uneducated on the topic… There’s so much shit I didn’t even know – Like… How did I not know I have a whole G-spot in my butt?! Why aren’t more people talking about that?!”

My monster chuckled softly in my chest, and I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing out loud.

‘So, he’s not a homophobe after all,’ I observed internally, and my monster nodded its great scaled head in agreement.

‘Mmm. It would appear not. Turns out he’s just a bit of an idiot.’

‘A well-intentioned idiot, at least.’

‘I shall call off the cavalry.’

“Nolan,” I said, finally putting him out of his misery and interrupting his frantic diatribe.

“Uhm… yeah?” he asked, swallowing nervously. He was staring at me like he was afraid I was going to tear him a new asshole, and I laughed softly.

“I think this is… amazing, that you’re trying to better yourself. It’s more than I would normally expect from a cishet man, to be honest. Your kind isn’t exactly known for your ability to… self-reflect. I’m very impressed.”

He brightened and gave me a hopeful smile.

“Cishet!” He snapped his fingers, beaming at me in excitement. “I know what that means now!” I rolled my eyes at him, though I was still smiling.

“Very impressive,” I grinned. “Proud of you.”

He preened slightly before visibly sobering and giving me a more serious look.

“All jokes aside, Cass… I… I’m really sorry about the way I’ve behaved. I told you already at the time that it was because I was feeling threatened, and I felt like I was losing you. But I can see now that I never really had you in the first place. Not like that, at least. But I really hope we can at least still be friends. And from everything you’ve told me about Theo… she sounds awesome. I want her to like me, too. I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I hope I can still be a part of both of your lives, even though I’ve been a complete ass.”

I gave him a warm smile and nodded. “I’m sure that can be arranged. Apology accepted.”

His entire body seemed to immediately relax, and he gave me a relieved smile.

“Thank fuck… Jesus, I’ve been so stressed about this.”

“I can tell.” I laughed before tucking into the couch opposite the one I’d found him reading in. “And honestly, I’m glad we ironed that out, because I need someone I can trust right now, and I was hoping you’d be willing to help me with something.”

Nolan frowned, flopping back down onto the couch opposite me before giving me his full attention.

“Sure, of course. What do you need?”

“Well, I’m sure you’re feeling the same way I am about how this case with the reverend is currently going.”

Nolan’s expression darkened, and he pursed his lips, nodding.

“Yeah. Dude’s fucking scum. And his ego is through the roof. He’s definitely guilty, and honestly, I’ve been losing sleep over this shit… But I’ve brought up backing out of this case with Edmund, and he’s digging his heels in. Apparently, it’s not even just about the money with this guy. He’s super connected with some powerful people, and I genuinely think Ed’s… a little afraid of him. He would obviously never admit that, but… it’s just a vibe I’m getting.”

My eyebrows rose in surprise. It didn’t take a genius to know Nolan hated our client as much as I did, but I didn’t know he’d already tried to get the partners to agree to fire him. Nolan was just full of surprises today.

“Interesting…” I hummed, filing that piece of information away for further inspection. “Well, I actually have a plan for that.”

“Oh?” Nolan asked, leaning back in his seat and crossing his ankle over his knee as he eyed me with interest. “Do tell.”

“I have a friend who is… good at digging shit up on people. It would obviously be all off the books, but if we can get hard evidence that the reverend is guilty and present it to Viv and Ed, they’ll be more willing to drop him. If we can find evidence, so can opposing counsel. They won’t want to risk being on the wrong side of this case if we can make it clear it’s a losing battle before we even go to court.”

Nolan raised an eyebrow, and his lip quirked.