Page 194 of The Monster and the Masochist

With the hand that wasn’t clutching my bottle, I focused on the bag hanging in the middle of the cold, windowless room. It was one of the only things in here. There was a small rack of free weights and a mini fridge, but all I cared about right now was the bag.

I swung on it, hitting it as hard as I could, hoping to split my knuckles on the unforgiving canvas the way my feet had split on the glass in the kitchen.

Relief flooded through me as pain exploded up my arm from the sloppy punch, but it was short-lived.

To my dismay, Ryan hadn’t taken the hint.

He barked my name from the door to the gym, and I spun to glare at him.

He wasn’t alone. Cal was with him now, and they were both looking at me with matching expressions of concern on their faces.

“Theo, what the fuck is going on? It’s almost eleven o’clock at night. What are you doing here? Where’s Cass?” Ryan asked, and I growled at him.

“Fuck off, Ryan. Leave me alone. I don’t have time to deal with your bullshit right now.” I snapped. I was angry now. Angry that he was inserting himself into my business like this.

I shouldn’t have come here.

I should have gone to the cemetery… but…

I’d needed booze and I’d been in no state to go all the way to the liquor store.

It had been urgent.

This was the quickest way my traumatized mind knew how to get what it needed, especially considering I knew Cass didn’t even keep wine in the condo anymore.

“Hey!” Cal snapped. He suddenly wasn’t looking concerned anymore. He was looking pissed. “Don’t fucking talk to him like that.” He snarled, and for a moment, I was taken aback by the venom in his voice.

Then… I had an idea.

I’d been planning on pounding this bag until my knuckles bled in the hopes that the pain would help ground me, but…

There was an easier way to get hurt, and it was standing right in front of me.

Next to Vox, Callum Walker was the most dangerous person I’d ever met. He might be retired, but I knew if he wanted to, he could fuck me up with very little effort.

But… we were friends, and I knew he would never hurt me on purpose.

Not unless I threatened the one person he loved more than anything in the world.

A sly smirk curled across my face, and my shattered mind desperately clung to the idea of provoking Cal until he hurt me.

“If you’re going to come in here and get all up in my shit, then you might as well fucking make it interesting,” I growled, turning my attention to my brother, who was looking more and more worried by the second.

“Why’d you come down here, Ryan? You wanna spar?” I hissed, and he shook his head, his gaze falling to the bottle of tequila still hanging loosely between my fingers.

“Give me the bottle, Theo. You shouldn’t be drinking when you’re this upset. Why don’t you come upstairs, and we can talk?” he asked softly. He was creeping toward me now, with his hands held palm up, as if he were approaching a wounded animal.

And maybe that’s what I was.

I growled at him, jerking backward as he reached for the bottle, and in a fit of panicked fury, I launched it at him.

The bottle shattered at his feet. Glass and liquor exploded across the floor, and he leaped back in surprise.

“Jesus, Theo!” Ryan shouted, but I was too far gone to care. Advancing on him now, I barely felt the glass digging into my feet as I stalked toward him.

“Come on, Ryan, fucking fight me!” I shouted, and his face went white with shock.

Cal grabbed Ryan by his shirt and tore him away from me. The ex-mercenary positioned himself between my brother and me, and I’d never heard him sound so cold as he turned dark, dead eyes on me. He spoke slowly, as if he were doing everything in his power to push back his own demons.