Page 80 of What Beats Within the Tunnels

“I might have mentioned to him earlier how skilled you are in bed and that we’ve been intimate numerous times,” she confesses, followed by a soft giggle. The sound brightens my mood.

“I would’ve relished seeing his reaction to that. He had it coming, trying to force the truth from you.”

“He did have it coming, and honestly I don’t regret telling him,” she says. She turns in my arms to face me, and every time she gives me that look I have to suppress the urge to assertively claim her as mine. I desire a commitment from her, but I can’t suffocate her with my wishes. I need to be patient and see how things unfold over time.

A deep breath escapes me when her delicate hand lifts to trace the contours of my face. “I’m so fortunate to have you,” she whispers, causing that familiar stirring in my chest.

“I’m the fortunate one, my sexy little enchantress,” I tease. Her giggle resonates in the quiet room again, the sound so pure and joyful. She doesn’t laugh nearly enough. How could anyone ever harm her? The very notion churns my stomach. “I’ll never let anyone harm you again.”

Her eyes soften, and she offers a gentle smile, tucking her hair behind her ear and caressing her necklace. I yearn to delve deep into her past, to understand her history with Samael, Aidan, and her parents. But it seems inappropriate to bombard her with questions right now, especially given the pain these memories might evoke. She revealed a fragment of her past to me in Zomea, and I unintentionally witnessed snippets of her traumatic experiences during her time in the simulation maze. I wish to understand her completely, the good and the bad alike.

“Are you afraid of the aftermath once my dark magic awakens? I’ve read the book about the last dark Sorcerer. Many have been consumed by the darkness, and then there’s the prophecy,” she says.

I take a moment to consider carefully. “I fear for your safety but never fear you.”

“Watch out, I can be pretty scary,” she teases, her voice accompanied by another soft giggle. However, her face soon adopts a more solemn expression. She lowers her lashes, avoiding my gaze, and begins to fiddle with her necklace. I sense her unease but choose not to press her on the matter. “Colton, can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything,” I assure her, curious about what’s prompting her newfound seriousness.

“Can you tell me about Zaelinn?” she inquires, catching me completely off guard.

“How do you know about her?” I ask, sidestepping her question momentarily. I wouldn’t have expected Nyx to divulge that information. It doesn’t paint him in the best light.

“Rix and Rune might have mentioned her a bit. But please don’t be upset with them,” she adds hastily. Those Twig Wisps always seem to be at the center of gossip.

“I’m not upset,” I reassure her. “You have every right to ask about her. I suppose it’s only natural you’d want to know more.” I pause, considering my next words carefully.

“We all grew up as friends. Nyx, Dorian, Bim, Flora, Zaelinn, and me. As time passed, Zaelinn and I, being slightly older than the others and always closer, naturally gravitated toward each other. Eventually, our bond evolved into something more intimate,” I pause, searching her face for any reaction. She simply gazes back, urging me to continue with her eyes. “We got engaged. But Zaelinn, with her free spirit, seemed to have second thoughts. Not long after our engagement party, she ended things. Soon after, I learned she was with Nyx.”

“Were they having an affair?” she inquires.

“I never got a straight answer, and honestly I never pushed for one. Knowing wouldn’t have changed how I felt. Nyx, once a good friend, felt like a traitor, and so did she. I had loved Zaelinn deeply, and though she shattered me I wanted her happiness. I wanted them both to be happy, and I could have forgiven them.” I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the next part.

“But...” she prompts.

Swallowing hard, I try to put my pain into words. “One day, tired of the rift that had formed in our circle, I visited Nyx’s house. I wanted reconciliation – for all of us to move past the hurt and be friends again. But Twig informed me they’d ventured to the Brysta Trenches.” I sigh, frustration evident in my voice. “It was always off-limits to us as kids. Too many have perished there. But their daring natures always overrode caution. By the time I arrived, it was too late.”

The chilling memory plays out before my eyes. “Navigating from the first to the second amphitheater is the most dangerous part. The darkness can be disorienting. One mistake and you run out of air. You’re so far below, no one can help you, magic is useless, and you can’t channel.” The scene is still so vivid to me even after all these years. “Zaelinn...she didn’t make it. Despite Nyx’s desperate attempts at reviving her, she was gone. The guilt and anguish on his face said it all – he blamed himself. As did I.”

“I couldn’t look past his role in her death. Especially when he moved on so fast – numerous flings, drinking, living recklessly. Our group fractured after that.”

“I’m so sorry,” she murmurs, her touch a comforting presence on my shoulder.

“It was a long time ago,” I reply.

Since she’s asking difficult questions, I decide to redirect our conversation and ask one I’ve been avoiding, “Do you still have feelings for Nyx?”

She hesitates for a moment, looking away. “I don’t know,” she whispers, avoiding my stare. “There’s always going to be this part of me that cares for him, despite his recent actions. Yet I’m drawn to you. My biggest challenge is the uncertainty about the prophecy and the awakening of my dark magic. Often, I’m on the verge of immersing myself fully in ‘us,’ but something deep inside gives me pause. I’m afraid of the potential pain – both inflicting it and experiencing it. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m not meant to be loved.”

“Lyra, love awaits you, in its purest, fiercest form. I hope destiny allows me to be the one to show you its depth.”

I’m consumed by the desire to tell her I love her, to urge her to choose me, to truly commit. I wish I could unveil the entirety of the prophecy to her, but, damn, I can’t. She’s so close, so seemingly within my grasp. She’s right here in my bed, nestled in my arms, yet she’s still out of reach. She’s with me yet not wholly mine.

“Me too.” She draws closer to nestle against my chest. I hold her and stroke her back until she falls asleep in my arms.

Chapter 29

Lyra