Page 106 of Bone Year

I refuse to look at the bar again or think about Draven’s hands on some other girl. About his mouth on her neck. About whether he’ll bite her the way Malric bit me.

It doesn’t matter. He’s nothing to me, and I’m nothing to him. But what did Lux mean by he has a type, uh it doesn’t matter, clearly she’s just trying to get a rise out of me and it’s working.

“We need more drinks.” I wave at the waiter. “A lot more drinks.”

By the fifth round, two guys had joined our table.

They’re locals, friends of Lux and Ellavee from back when they lived here. One is tall with dark curly hair and an easy smile that crinkles the corners of his eyes. His name is Finn. The other is broader with a neatly trimmed beard and warm brown eyes that seem genuinely kind. Corrin.

Finn has somehow ended up next to me. His thigh is pressed against mine under the table, and his hand keeps finding excuses to touch my arm when he talks. Brushing against my wrist when he reaches for his drink. Squeezing my shoulder when he laughs at something I say.

I let him.

“So you’re at Ashwell.” He leans closer, his breath warm against my ear. “That must be intense.”

“You have no idea.”

“I’ve heard stories. Creatures and fissures and people dying all the time.”

“It’s not all the time.” I finish my drink and set the glass down. “But often enough to keep things interesting.”

His eyes travel over my face. “Still, you must be brave to go there.”

I think about freezing with the saw in my hand, about Nella’s eyes going empty while I stood there useless.

“I’m not brave.”

“I don’t believe that.” He smiles, slow and warm. “You look brave to me.”

It’s such a stupid line, the kind of thing boys say when they want to get you into bed and don’t have anything clever to offer, but the alcohol has made everything fuzzy, and he’s handsome enough. I don’t want to feel the guilt or the grief or the weight of all the questions I can’t answer.

I want to forget, even if it’s for one night.

Across the room, I feel eyes on me.

I don’t have to look to know it’s Draven.

I look anyway.

He’s watching me. The girl on his arm is talking to him, her fingers playing with his hair, but he’s not listening to a word she’s saying. He’s looking at me and Finn. At the way Finn’s hand has settled around my back. At the way I’m leaning into him instead of pulling away.

Finn and Corrin get up to grab another round of shots from the bar, and the moment they’re out of earshot, Ellavee leans in.

“You’ve been eye fucking him for the last twenty minutes. What’s going on there?”

I nearly choke on my drink. “I’m not eye fucking anyone.”

“You absolutely are.” Lux giggles. “I thought your eyes were going to burn holes through that poor girl’s head.”

“I told you both that nothing is going on. I can’t stand either of them.” I set my glass down a little too hard. “I’m disgusted watching that girl lick all over his neck and throw herself at him like that in public. It’s pathetic.”

“Pathetic.” Ellavee’s smirk deepens. “Right, that’s definitely why you look like you want to rip her hair out.”

“I don’t⁠—”

“If it bothers you that much,” she cuts me off, lowering her voice as the guys make their way back with fresh drinks, “then maybe you should do the same. Instead of eye fucking him from across the room, try to get under his skin.” Her eyes glitter. “It might be fun.”

The drinks keep coming, and I stop counting.