Page 163 of Bone Year

I sniffle, pulling myself together.

I lean down and press my forehead to his.

“You old bastard,” I whisper and I kiss the top of his head.

Then I sit up, scoop Poppy into my arms, and tuck her against my side. Some people don’t enter your life. They build something inside it. And when they leave, the structure comes down with them.

I don’t look back at him as I leave.

I can’t.

I exit the room as the menders come in and hurry down the hall with my eyes burning and my chest wound tight, not looking where I’m going until I almost slam into him.

The headmaster is standing in the corridor outside Cael’s door with his hands clasped behind his back, his cloak pooling against the stone, his face turned toward the room I left. I realize he has been waiting here.

“Headmaster.”

“Miss Rose.”

I think about brushing past him, because he has done nothing to earn a single word from me today, and I owe him no explanation. But something stops me, some small, foolish grieving instinct that wants to make him to acknowledge the loss.

I open my mouth. “He⁠—”

“I know.” He said it the way a man says he knows the time or the weather. “I think it is for the best in the end for everyone.”

I feel my eyes narrow before I can school them. I want to lash out at him, want to ask him why he is such an enormous asshole, want to blame him for Cael and Nella’s deaths, for the names chalked on the board after the Shorelands fissure, want to confront him about the tenth floor and Senna and the wards he is letting slip and every cold thing Cael said about him at the end of his life. But even with all of it pressing against my teeth, I know better, because there is something sinister behind the headmaster’s eyes, and I’m going to be the one who finds it. I can’t do that if he sees me coming.

I let my face fall into the stoic mask and walk past him. How can he say Cael’s death is for the best for everyone? Did he know Cael was on to him?

I pick up my pace, and I’m almost at the bend when his voice stops me.

“Miss Rose.”

I close my eyes for one second then turn.

He has not moved from where he was standing, he’s only turned to face me like he was watching me walk away.

“I’m glad you survived your midterm.”

I force a half smile, even though he unnerves me.

“Do make it count.”

He inclines his head, and I round the corner before he can say anything else, throwing myself into the lift, and the moment the doors slide closed, my legs give, and I sag against the wall with Poppy pressed to my chest and my forehead against the cold metal. I don’t breathe until the lift begins to descend. I’ve never wanted to be away from a person more in my life, and he was barely there.

Once outside, I gulp the frigid air in deep shuddering pulls, my breath plumed white in front of me. Poppy makes a small chittering sound against my coat and then disappears to rest.

Cael was old. He lived a long, great life, and at the end of it he got exactly what he asked for, someone to share his stories with until the end. He was ready, and it was his time.

I close my eyes. I hope you are at peace, old man.

The dorm is across the courtyard, and Nestor’s class will be over by now. I need to get my mind off things and study for finals. I need a hot shower and sleep too.

I am almost to the side of the building when I see Malric.

He is leaning against the wall with his shoulder set against the stone, one boot crossed over the other and his arms folded across his chest, his head tilted back so that the light catches the underside of his jaw and the hint of red in his brown hair. He’s been waiting for me.

Great.