Page 27 of The True-Blue Romance

He swallows hard and his eyes fill with tears. I don’t think twice—don’t even give myself a moment—before I’m out of my seat, on my knees in front of him and tugging him into my arms. He collapses like he always does, like his ultimate comfort is being held by me. I’ve always felt pretty special because he doesn’t even have this sort of physical comfort with Beau, although they can be physically affectionate when they give themselves permission. I curl my fingers into the hairs at the base of Lee’s head, noticing for the first time he made good on that promise to get a haircut in the city. He’s distancing himself from me and I’m starting to understand why, I think. I’ve probably been slowly breaking his heart for over a decade.

“Do you want me to sleep over?” I ask quietly into the fluff of his hair.

Lee shakes his head profusely. “Nah. I’m fine. Thanks for bringing over the cheesecake.”

Ah, there’s the familiar dismissal when things get a little too emotional. I press a kiss to his forehead and stand up, feeling a little dizzy with all the thoughts running through my head. Or maybe it’s just from being close to him but not being able to say all the words I so badly want to say. His eyelashes are wet with tears, but he smiles up at me still. Typical Lee.

“I love you,” I say quietly.

Lee’s face crumbles for only a moment before that familiar mask is back in place. “I love you too.”

I gather up the Tupperware containers, then head toward my car without looking back. I have to sort myself out before I say anything remotely in the vicinity of I’m in love with you to Lee. I have to say it to myself a few more times first.

Instead of driving home, I drive to Beau’s place. My car kicks up dust in the dark, but Beau’s lights are still on, which is promising at least. My heart races and my chest feels too small for all my organs as I knock on his front door. Only a few seconds pass before a shirtless Beau, dressed in only a pair of basketball shorts, answers the front door. His eyes immediately go from angry to concerned at the sight of me.

“Joey?”

“I think I’m in love with Lee!” I shout because I am at the end of my rope.

Beau blinks.

I blink back.

“Well, that only took twenty years,” Trevor calls out from the living room.

Beau sighs deeply, grabs my arm, and tugs me into the house. The place smells like banana bread and coconut candles, which is an odd combination, but it sort of works. Trevor is snuggled into the corner of the couch with his hair in a messy bun, in what looks like Beau’s T-shirt, and very obvious beard burn on his neck.

“I interrupted something,” I say awkwardly.

Trevor stares back. “I think your little breakdown is more important than a make-out session before bed.”

I look over at Beau only to see him shrug and settle beside Trevor on the couch. I collapse into the recliner in the corner, needing the comfort of the rocking to ease away the tension falling over me like a weighted blanket. Trevor whispers something to Beau before standing in a graceful sway of limbs. His legs are bare but for the glimpse of his boxer briefs just under the hem of his shirt.

I look back toward Beau to find him leaning against the sofa, arms crossed over his broad chest, eyes oddly narrowed.

“What makes you think you’re in love with Lee?”

“Uh, ’cause I want to kiss him.”

“And what else?”

“I want to hold him as he sleeps and I want Savannah to call him dad, not Unc-Lee.”

“Well, fuck.” Beau rubs his face with one hand, looking bone weary and tired. “If you tell him, he won’t believe you.”

“Obviously. That’s why I’m here.”

We sit in silence until Trevor returns with a mug in each of his hands. He holds one of the mugs out for me, and I take it with a grateful smile. It’s a fragrant-smelling sweet tea, probably something he bought from Ms. Bitty at the tea shop downtown. Maybe a little bit of marigold actually. The warmth of the cup bleeds into my hands as I watch Trevor hand the other mug to Beau.

“Want me to leave?” Trevor asks, no anger in his voice.

I shake my head. “You can stay.”

Trevor smiles softly as he rejoins Beau back on the couch, tucking his feet under Beau’s thick thighs. It kind of feels like being with my parents in a way. The sounds of the forest behind Beau’s house float in through the open sliding glass door. All the tension melts away as I lean back in the recliner, cradling the mug of tea to my chest.

“How long has Lee been in love with me?” I ask, eyes staring unseeing down into the fragrant tea.

“That’s for Lee to answer, not me,” Beau says diplomatically.