Page 41 of The True-Blue Romance

“Both, kinda.”

Lee laughs. My favorite Lee laugh, the one that makes his stomach shake and his eyes crinkle at the corners. “All right, Joey. You can take me out on a date. We can have a midweek sleepover too.”

“Score.” I pump my arm, then bite my lip to contain my smile when Lee laughs harder.

“Check on the goats with me?”

He doesn’t have to ask me twice. I leave my empty bowl and beer on the steps and follow him out toward the goats. He’s exceedingly gentle as he opens the enclosure, and they fondly jump all over him. I step over to check on Buster the Bunny to find him safely huddled in his covered bedroom, as if he didn’t notice a storm even coming through. Lee murmurs to the goats and feeds them, and my heart grows even more tender at the sight of him.

The birds sing in the trees, the air cool and humid, and the sun is gone, leaving the sky a darkening blue. A few stars are starting to peek out, but the most beautiful sight is Lee leaving the goat enclosure to step toward me with that damn shy smile on his lips, as if he can’t believe this isn’t all a dream.

Once he’s close enough, I loop my arms around his waist, letting one of my palms dance under his shirt to touch the warmth of his skin. He sighs openly, leaning against me until his bearded cheek presses against mine. I want to hold him in my arms forever, never let him feel unwanted or cast aside ever again. Lee deserves the world, and I’m gonna give it to him, come hell or high water.

“Lee,” I whisper against his ear, summoning the courage for my next words. “Everything’s going to be okay now. I promise.”

“Please don’t give me this just to take it away,” Lee begs, and my heart breaks all over again. I pull him tighter against me, wishing I could fix it all. Wishing I could go back in time and give him the world sooner, make him feel loved his entire life. But I can’t go back; I can just start now.

“I’ll prove it to you every day until we die.”

Lee hums and presses his lips to my neck, warm and tender. He seems to breathe me in, a deep gulping breath that even I can feel in my lungs. I sway us back and forth while we hold one another. The universe expands and contracts, until we’re two center points in a world that spins madly on around us. But as long as we’re holding one another, everything’s going to be okay. And if it’s not, then I’ll make it okay.

The evening takes on a sort of dreamlike quality after that. I wasn’t lying earlier when I said I wanted to crawl inside of Lee. All the years of waiting—of touching, but only on the edge of friendship—are catching up to us. I want to always be touching him. I hope that never goes away.

Lee holds my hand as he leads us back inside, and I watch the slope of his shoulders. So strong and broad, his body is so perfectly him. Everything about his body turns me on. I flush with warmth at the idea of getting up close and personal with his cock. Have I ever thought about sucking dick before in my thirty-six years of existence? Nope, but I want to suck Lee’s dick and make him beg to come. I want to see him fall apart while I fuck him. Oh god. I want to fuck him.

I stop mid-step, and Lee jerks to a stop himself. The house is dark, but I can clearly see the dark blue of his eyes, the questioning shimmer at my probably apparent urgency.

“Lee.”

Lee’s eyebrows wing up. “Joey.”

“What are the sex rules?”

“Sex rules,” Lee repeats, enunciating each word. “What the hell does that mean?”

I can feel my face flush from my cheeks down to my neck, and even into my shirt. “I just thought about fucking you.”

“Oh,” Lee says breathlessly. He rubs his beard, then swallows loudly. “I’ve thought about that for about twenty years, Joseph.”

“Oh,” I say stupidly.

“Oh,” Lee agrees, because we’re a bunch of idiots.

“So you like that?”

Lee shrugs, and there’s something in the movement that gives me pause. There’s something he’s holding back. “With you, yeah.”

And those words give me even more pause. “Have you done it and… not liked it?”

“I’ve had a lot of sex I didn’t like, Joey. I didn’t date because it would’ve been wrong, but I’ve had sex.”

“Have you ever made love?”

Lee looks profoundly uncomfortable now. He shakes his hand loose of mine and wraps his arms around himself. That’s Lee’s telltale sign of being pushed too far. I need to handle this delicately before he shuts the door on me for the evening. I step up to him, wrap my arms around his middle, and pull him close. After a few moments, his arms drop, only to wrap around my back and hug me tightly.

“Can I make love to you tonight?” I ask, lips brushing the shell of Lee’s ear. He smells like his orange-scented bodywash and sunshine after our afternoon outside. The smell is so familiar, but new, that my heart aches with the reality of the scent. This is my Drew, my Lee; I know every single piece of him, except for this new exciting piece we can discover together. And maybe, just maybe, I can show Lee something he’s never seen before. After showing him the reality of unconditional love for the past twenty years, now I’m going to show him what it means to be made love to without an ounce of pain.

Lee only nods against my shoulder, but I need to hear the words. I tangle my fingers in his soft locks, gently tugging until he pulls far enough away to look into my eyes.