Page 105 of Last Christmas in London

‘It’s…’ I didn’t finish. Elijah had sent texts, voice notes, and countless emails, and was now trying to call me. I groaned. ‘I don’t start for another week. And all the travel is sorted and…’ There was no reason for him to be contacting me. It was just too intense. ‘I think this is what it’s going to be like when I get there,’ I lamented to Simon, the fear and anxiety settling in me like a bad cocktail. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I felt better instantly.

Kissing the top of my head, he muttered, slightly begrudgingly, ‘I think it’s time I called my dad.’

‘No.’ I don’t know what it was that made me stop him, perhaps some latent feminist pride, but the idea of my yet-to-be-classified-as-more-than-friend asking his dad to help me get a job just gave me the instant ick. ‘I have another idea.’

Pim was up, dressed and dancing when I entered her hotel room.

‘Afternoon,’ I said, elongating the word having realised it was after midday. Pim turned, startled by my sudden appearance. She was wearing a festive headpiece including two snowflakes that lit up like my jumper.

‘We match!’ I pressed the discreet button under my jumper that set the whole thing aglow. Pim rolled her eyes with a huff and removed her headpiece. Clearly, I had ruined the moment.

‘What are you doing here?’ she said, slightly frustrated by my presence.

I laughed. ‘I take my job very seriously, as you know,’ I reminded her. ‘Just because I can take the next few days off, that doesn’t mean I’m going to.’

Pim exhaled heavily and sat down on the sofa. Gerald, who was fast asleep at the other end, bounced up at the surprise disruption and jumped off, back to his three-storey dog tower in the other room.

‘Well, there’s nothing for you to do,’ she replied haughtily. ‘Alison has sorted everything for New Mexico and the show’s over.’

‘I know.’ I moved some of the newspapers containing reviews of her event – all dog-eared – onto the coffee table, so that I could sit down. ‘I could sort out some sight-seeing, though? You’ve been in London all month and barely seen any of it.’

Pim’s eyebrows rose in confusion. ‘I’ve seen plenty. I’ve been to The Ivy, The Groucho, Chiltern’s, Fortnum & Mason…’

‘Those are restaurants and shops. I’m talking about London.’ I added jazz-hands for effect; the moment called for it and would not be denied.

‘I don’t have much interest in London,’ Pim said, repeating my jazz-hands with dripping sarcasm as she reached towards the table for a cup of coffee I’d missed.

‘Not even the museums or the art galleries?’

Pim shrugged. ‘It’s all a load of stuff we nicked from other countries.’

‘Not all of it,’ I argued weakly. ‘There’s always the theatre?’

Pim laughed. ‘And see what? A Christmas Carol? The pantomime?’

‘There’s a new Tom Stoppard production?’ I suggested and Pim growled in revolt.

‘Never.’ She dribbled her coffee – clearly now cold – back into her cup and put it down. ‘And, besides, you’re not here to get me on a…’ She pulled a disgusted face. ‘…hop-on, hop-off bus. You’re after something. What is it?’

I did have to hand it to her, Pim could read me like a book when she was so inclined to take up reading anything other than the tabloids.

‘I actually have a question for you. Or a request, perhaps.’

Pim’s back straightened, her lips pursed, and she tilted her head to consider me for a moment.

‘That’s a phrase I’ve never heard from you before,’ she said slowly, taking a long time to process my opening line.

‘I know.’ I wished I had some water so I could wet my mouth before asking, but I had no choice, I’d opened the can of worms, now I had to spill them. ‘So my new job in Toronto, it’s… it’s not exciting me as much as I was hoping it would. I know that that could be down to fear, and I will still be going – contractually, I’m obliged – but I’ve decided, that after my probation period, I’ll be coming back to the UK.’ I took a breath and waited for a reaction from Pim but none came.

I felt as if I had burst a balloon, but the balloon had already been burst. There was no loud bang or surprise, from either of us. This was always meant to happen.

‘I’m not coming back with my tail between my legs asking for my old job, that door has closed, and I know that Alison is going to be great at it. But I was wondering, hoping even, that if you knew anyone I could speak to or if you had any advice about the industry, I would love to try to find something more local. Within the UK. I just…’ I took another breath and released a nervous laugh as all my anticipatory energy dispersed. ‘I’ve really fallen back in love with London and my life here, and I don’t want to let it go.’

It was a simple finish, perhaps too simple. But it was honest.

Pim made no reply. Her expression remained stoic, contemplative, as if she had only understood half of what I had said, and she was translating the rest. Or she was thinking about what she was going to order for dinner from the Savoy kitchens that evening.

She inhaled deeply and moved her head back to the centre of her spine, scanning the room around her as if looking for a misplaced item.