Page 116 of Last Christmas in London

‘Hi! What’s all this?’ I said, kissing them each on the cheek, or as close as I could get to their cheeks given the amount of Christmas paraphernalia in their arms.

‘I brought a few things, just in case you needed them,’ Denise explained, pulling out a three-tiered vegetable steamer and a massive skillet.

‘Oh, great!’ I was amazed she could fit it all in her car, but also unsurprised at the same time.

Bob had already headed for the living room, depositing large sacks of presents near the tree, as they were hardly going to fit underneath our five-foot spruce.

‘Did you want this table in here, Evie?’ he called, getting straight to the business of moving the furniture that Simon and I hadn’t yet got around to.

‘That’s the one.’

We flittered about, Denise filling me in on the latest gossip while shouting instructions to Simon on how best to make her homemade bread sauce.

‘Use the packet!’ I muttered loudly, and I saw his tell-tale smirk.

The house felt packed to the rafters already and we were only halfway filled. As Simon was serving the bowls of steamed vegetables, Denise pouring gravy and ‘homemade’ sauce into serving jugs, the door rang again.

‘Is that Josh?’ Denise asked, now stripping carrots with the peeler while I pushed over my phone to her.

‘No, he’s not coming.’

‘What?’ she gasped, aghast. ‘Have you had a falling-out?’

‘Read the text,’ I said, hurriedly making my way to the door as the doorbell was pushed again and again.

Denise read the text aloud and laughed – Josh has bailed because he’s shacked up with the Sexy Santa from Magic Mike XXL – ‘GUYS!! My God! The elasticity of this man. And the stamina! I’m in GAY CHRISTMAS HEAVEN! Send carbs, heat packs, and cans of whipped cream. I’m going to need them. XoXo’

‘Typical Josh,’ she cackled. ‘I hope he finds love. And a chiropractor.’

I opened the door.

‘It’s only us!’ Megan said, letting herself in while holding the hand of Alfie, who was bouncing on his heels with excitement, clutching a Santa hat that was at least two sizes too big for his head and insisting on showing me immediately.

‘Alfie, my angel!’ I squeezed him tightly, kissing his tufty little curls as he squirmed to get away again, overwhelmed by the noise and scent of Christmas.

Alex followed his son with a small sack of presents and the leash of Megan’s new chihuahua-Jack Russell cross, Jack-Jack, smiling awkwardly. He let Jack-Jack go – the little dog bounded off with a comically polite bark that was very endearing. Megan handed Alex her coat, without ever actually touching him. They had divorced the year before and were attempting to amicably co-parent Alfie, though it didn’t mean the awkwardness of their situation had dissipated. It was obvious to everyone that they were still finding their new normal around each other as friends.

‘I got a PlayStation!’ Alfie shouted, and I looked to Megan, who was rolling her eyes at Alex.

‘Alex bought himself a new PlayStation,’ she explained after Alfie rushed into the living room to greet his grandparents. ‘But told Alfie it was for him. I don’t even think Alfie knows what a PlayStation is – he just thinks it’s cool because his dad thinks it’s cool.’

‘I think I can get away with it for at least one more year,’ Alex said cheekily, going in for a blink-and-you-miss-it hug with me before following his playful son.

‘So long as it doesn’t make its way into my house,’ Megan whispered to me, her eyes tracking the two of them like a hawk.

‘I’ll defend your flat with my life,’ I swore solemnly.

‘It’s just one day,’ she repeated, a mantra to herself, as she wrapped an arm around my waist and we headed towards the kitchen. We could hear Alfie and Alex rough-housing in the living room, with Denise’s calls to be careful.

Megan flinched.

‘No flicking horseradish into his eye with a spoon,’ I warned, pointedly reminding Megan of her previous Christmas with her ex, which had been much less amicable than this one.

‘That was Alfie,’ she insisted. It was not.

Simon was suitably red-faced and flustered, straining Brussels sprouts while also closing the oven door with his foot and balancing a jug of gravy with his spare hand.

‘Let me take that,’ Megan said, taking the jug before it spilled. Denise flew in instantly to claim it and place it on the table, all the while jabbering away to her beloved grandson from across the house.