Page 27 of Last Christmas in London

‘You nomad!’

‘Santa doesn’t visit hotels. I know this because, when I wake up on Christmas Day, there are never any presents at the end of my bed.’

‘What does Pim do about Christmas?’ he asked as I nestled deeper into his sofa.

‘Not much. She says she’s too old for sitting and unwrapping presents so I typically give her one and then all the other gifts – which she buys herself – she just leaves me to hide and then hand them over on Christmas Day.’

‘What a delightful day you both have.’ he said dryly. ‘Tell me she gets you something.’

I focused on the screen, watching Scott Calvin squeeze down a chimney with the help of nineties bad CGI. ‘She gives me a hundred of whatever currency the country we’re staying in has and tells me to go wild. I got some fantastic perfume one year, and a year’s Amazon Prime subscription the next.’

Josh’s silence spoke volumes.

‘She’s never been one for the personalised, handmade effort, Josh,’ I added, my voice softer. ‘Nor is she particularly good at shopping for anyone but herself.’

‘I just don’t know what you see in her.’

‘She’s my boss, not my life partner.’

‘Hmm!’ Josh gave me a judgy side-eye. ‘You’ve never even been in with a chance of getting a life partner since you’ve been with her. Another catastrophe, as the men of the world have been missing out on pursuing you.’

‘I have dated while working with Pim.’

‘And how many times do you go on second dates with the people you’ve “dated”?’ He lifted his fingers in quotation marks. ‘I’m guessing none.’

The challenge in his voice was unmistakable.

It wasn’t as if I’d sworn off relationships, I just hadn’t made room for them. That felt different. Practical, owing to the way I lived, sensible, even.

But hearing Josh frame it so plainly made me feel uncomfortable. He wasn’t being cruel; he was stating a fact. The fact that he’d noticed that this was how my life looked from the outside unsettled me more than I wanted to admit. ‘There is hardly a chance, what with work and moving on so quickly.’

Josh didn’t seem to think this was a valid argument, but that was hardly surprising, given the furthest he had travelled for work was Lapland on a trip for ‘inspiration’. Even then he had managed to shack up with a pilot and a husky handler – at the same time. Respect.

But not wanting to discuss my non-existent dating life, or my desire to finally have one, I cleared my throat.

‘I’m not happy,’ I began, leaning forward to hand out the last two mince pies to each of us. ‘… with the fact that we’ve still not found our Christmas costumes for the Great British Pudding Race,’ I said, shoving the last mince pie in my mouth all in one with no shame.

Josh sat up then, immediately animated by Christmas planning.

‘I’ve found the perfect Grinch costume for Alex and, of course, I’m set for my Die Hard re-enactment; I even have a semi-bald cap, I’m that dedicated to my performance,’ Josh shared. ‘I’m just struggling to find the perfect Cindy Lou Who and a Jovie costume.’

‘Well, for me, I’ll just go full-Elf costume and then add some typical Jovie touches.’

‘You’re just going to sing “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” everywhere you go?’

‘Pretty much, yep! And we’ll add copious amounts of blusher and highlighter to Megan’s nose to make her look like a proper Who of Whoville.’

‘We got this,’ Josh said, lifting his hand to high-five me and I returned it. ‘And if we don’t, I have the perfect two-person reindeer costume on standby.’

‘Never,’ I said.

Chapter 9

To hold the interviews for my replacement, Megan had kindly offered her office space on 11 December.

‘Thanks for letting me do this,’ I said, filling a jug of water at the sink in the shared kitchenette. Megan was busy with her own work but had a separate room for taking meetings, away from her desk. She shrugged, adding a heaping spoonful of sugar to her decaf coffee – a surprising choice, given how much she normally relied on caffeine.

‘It’s no problem. I hate being in the office by myself, but there’s no way I’m working from home again. I need the boundaries.’