Page 103 of Winter With You

‘What?’ she asked, shrugging, mouth to her cup. ‘It’s true. So, I know you’ve made some kind of moves together or, if you really haven’t then you definitely, totally need to, because you’re gonna have the most beautiful babies.’

‘And that’s where this conversation is going to end.’

‘Oh no, we need to discuss this, while they’re still spinning around on the ice. You cannot let her go because I’ve not seen you this way about anyone.’

‘Yeah, well, I’ve kind of had a lot going on for a while.’

‘True, but now you say things are going to change so, no excuses.’

Was he making excuses? Could he be good for Gabriella? Because that was what he needed to be. If there was going to be anything more than her New York visit for them, then he wanted to add to her life experience in a great way, not burden her with something else she had to make concessions for. He knew now that she’d been doing that too much as it was.

‘I don’t know what I’m meant to feel,’ he blurted out.

‘What are you talking about?’ Steffi asked. ‘Feelings can’t be second guessed, they just exist and there’s nothing you can do about them.’

‘You can turn them off. Pretend they aren’t there.’

‘Fill your mind with other things you mean? Go to the gym? Dress a few more celebrities?’ Steffi asked. ‘Take your sister out for bagels? OK, the last one is OK but the fact you said “pretend they aren’t there” means the feelings are there, doofus.’

He knew that. He definitely knew that. ‘But how do I know that the feelings I have, if I have them, are… I don’t know… enough?’

‘Enough for what?’ Steffi asked.

‘Enough for Gabriella to want me to have feelings… for her.’

Steffi shook her head. ‘Oh my God, Luca, why do you try to overthink everything? You have the feelings. You need to do something with them, tell Gabriella about them, no matter what happens next.’

He blew out a breath, visible in the night air. ‘I don’t know. It’s not easy, is it. Both of our pasts, our careers, where we live and… Phoebe.’

‘Luca,’ Steffi said seriously. ‘Stop writing the whole book in your head. It doesn’t have to be that way and it shouldn’t be that way. You don’t have to think about anything further than the initial chapters, the exciting newness of it and the not knowing what might happen is sometimes the best part.’

‘What if we’re not even on the same page about the first chapters?’

‘Well, there’s only one way to find out,’ Steffi said, punching him in the arm, passing him her cup and heading to the gap that led to the rink. ‘Tell her how you feel, how you really feel and see what happens.’

‘Wait, where are you going?’

‘To see if Phoebe wants to get churros. And you should go partner Gabriella on the ice.’

‘Steffi!’

‘Sorry, what? Can’t hear you above Bing Crosby!’

63

‘Hey.’

Gabriella turned a little too quickly at the greeting and one of the skates slid away from optimum balancing position, making her rock and reel until a pair of hands reached for her. Instead of letting him help, she grabbed the edge of the rink and saved herself. ‘I’m good. I’m practically an expert now.’

‘I mean I was only gonna save you because it looked like the move could have turned into gold standard and you would have been signed up for the next Winter Olympics,’ Luca said.

‘Well, I do kind of need a new career,’ Gabriella replied. ‘That’s what happens when you shaft your publisher and tell the world the wellness mantra you’ve been crowing about is flawed.’

‘I think you spoke eloquently and respectfully.’

‘Damn. Don’t tell my mother.’

She laughed but, even to her, there was something about it that sounded hollow. She was finding this harder than she thought she would. It was all so public. But, she knew, if it was going to make a real change then she had to be as bare and honest with her public as she could possibly be.