Page 59 of Winter With You

It’s important that you stop pretending to others, Ella-Bella. Will you do that for me?

There was the beginning of tears in her eyes she was fighting to hold back. ‘It’s too hard.’

And is pretending to the world not hard too?

She couldn’t disagree and suddenly she was overcome with how completely exhausting things were. How completely exhausted she was. She took a shaky breath and finished the bourbon in one gulp.

Let go. The words were like a whisper she’d heard once before.

35

MULBERRY STREET LIBRARY, SOHO

‘…This event is nothing like Zeeta Friedmann. It’s not about entertainment and gaining new interest for the book and the book to come, it’s about engagement with your current readers, the ones who love Zero Fucks Given and have made it part of their world.’

Gabriella nodded as they ‘relaxed’ in this room at the library that seemed to be part stockroom, part kindergarten with crayoned drawings on the walls and alphabet and animal posters. But it wasn’t the surroundings that were the problem; Gabriella was stressed. It was another beautiful old building though and, as they had admired the outside, Phoebe had informed them it used to be a chocolate factory. And, right now, Gabriella could have done with any Willy Wonka produce because she had a headache, brought on either by the alcohol last night or by Cheyenne’s ongoing incessant instructions. Smile warmly. Look into people’s eyes when you sign their book. Touch hands if the opportunity arises. And before all of that and arriving here, she had had to make a deal with Eric to pet sit Mr Darcy in the hotel garage until they got back later. Phoebe had already tried to set up some kind of web cam watching system by attempting an almost successful hack into the camera surveillance at the hotel. Somehow this tour was overwhelming in ways she hadn’t envisaged. Crazy publicists, stray dogs and hot stylists…

As if her thoughts were in direct contact with the universe, there was a knock on the door, and without waiting for any response, Luca stepped into the room and Gabriella’s stomach took a bungee dive. Why did he look even better today than he had in her memory from last night? Because you have touched those curls. Now you have intimate knowledge of his lips. She sat a little tighter in her seat, put her water bottle to her mouth and drank.

‘Hi, Luca,’ Phoebe greeted, eyes finally straying from the pages of a thick leather book she had commandeered as soon as they had arrived at the library.

‘Hi, Phoebe,’ he replied.

Then Gabriella felt his eyes move to her.

‘I’m sorry I’m late,’ he said. ‘I made a few alterations to your outfit and then the cab was⁠—’

‘It’s fine,’ Gabriella said, getting to her feet. ‘No drama. Shall I get dressed?’ She reached for the garment carrier.

‘I would just like a few more minutes,’ Cheyenne said. ‘Going through how I would like you to carry yourself during the talk and⁠—’

Suddenly, too quickly, Gabriella’s hackles were raised and the headache rapidly spiralled into something much hotter and heavier. ‘How I carry myself? Please, elaborate.’

‘Maybe, for this event, we need to see a softer side to Gabriella Felix. The caring, nurturing guardian you are to Phoebe for example.’ Cheyenne looked directly at Phoebe. ‘I thought you might like to go on the little stage, Phoebe, and have a bit of the spotlight.’

Gabriella didn’t need to look at her niece to know that her expression would have made her horror-struck. Phoebe hated the spotlight. Most of the time Phoebe walked around wishing she was invisible to the world.

‘I… don’t think I would—’ Phoebe began, words shaking, tone wary.

‘No, Cheyenne. Absolutely not.’

‘Gabriella, let me remind you that we have to make the most of this tour and that will involve you being more adaptable, showing more willingness to push some of your usual boundaries.’

‘My boundaries?’ Gabriella questioned, heat invading her body. ‘And, tell me, how do my boundaries involve using my niece?’

‘Gabriella, I can’t breathe,’ Phoebe croaked, her fingers at her neck.

‘You’ll be fine after some water,’ Cheyenne said. ‘Or perhaps some full sugar Coke for the stage?’

Gabriella could feel the heat at her neck, her pulse beating hard.

‘OK,’ Luca said. ‘Cheyenne, we don’t actually have that much time, so if Gabriella, Phoebe and I could have the room.’

He’d said it with authority. Like he was in charge of these proceedings and anyone questioning that had a problem. Gabriella was still rageful and trying her hardest not to let it seep out further. She could do it. She had to do it.

‘Phoebe—’ Cheyenne began, seeming a bit flustered.

‘Needs to help me,’ Luca stated. ‘Give us thirty minutes.’