Page 83 of Winter With You

‘Plates,’ he remarked, hanging the garment bag from the curtain pole above the patio doors. ‘I had you down as an eating out of a bag kind of girl.’

Gabriella looked at the porcelain on the counter and then loaded the burgers back into the bag and put the plates into the cupboard again. ‘You know I am.’ She brought the bag over to the coffee table. ‘I was also an eating pizza with my fingers kind of girl long before my mother forced me to use a knife and fork.’

‘Damn,’ he answered. ‘You are almost Italian.’

‘What?’

‘We always eat pizza with a knife and fork, unless it is a slice like the street food kind.’

‘So, were you born in Italy?’ Gabriella asked, handing him one of the burgers as she sat on the sofa alongside him.

He shook his head. ‘No. My great-grandfather, he was born in Naples and he came to New York when he was fifteen. There is a story about his hitchhiking all the way but it changes so much now when it is told I am beginning to think that none of it is true.’

‘Have you been to Italy?’

‘Only once. To Rome. A client had a performance and Sybille was unable to travel so I got to go.’ He took a breath. ‘I was there for thirty-six hours and most of that was in a stadium for the show. But before I had to leave for the airport I got to walk around the centre and it wasn’t like being in another country, it was like being in another world.’ He paused before continuing. ‘In those few hours I understood a little more of how an Italian is in their own habitat.’

‘You don’t feel Italian here?’

‘That is a good question,’ he stated. ‘Being honest, I don’t know what I feel connected to here.’

‘You don’t like New York?’

‘I don’t know if I know New York completely. Some of it I love – my work, the many opportunities in all areas of life, but also I know that what I have grown up with is not 100 per cent what I want for my future.’

She quietened then. She didn’t feel she could probe when she felt so similarly about London. It wasn’t that she didn’t love her city, she just wasn’t entirely sure it was as part of her as it used to be. She bit into her burger and watched him do the same.

‘So, I need to tell you something, Gabriella,’ Luca said, after he had finished his bite and put his burger on top of the bag.

‘It sounds serious. Do I need to pour Jack Daniels?’ She was already half up from her seat, burger also put on the table.

‘I don’t know,’ he admitted. ‘But, please, sit down for a second.’

She dropped back into the seat and waited for whatever was coming next. Why did she feel so nervous?

‘OK,’ he said. ‘So, I want to be honest with you.’

‘You haven’t been honest with me so far?’ Gabriella asked.

‘I have never lied to you,’ he said. ‘But I have always been only dealing with the surface. And I know you understand that.’

She couldn’t deny it. All those feelings wrapped up and hidden, her professional persona a well-rehearsed act. ‘And now?’

‘Now,’ Luca started. ‘I need to be honest because this morning I told Sybille that I no longer wanted to dress you for the rest of your time here.’

That hadn’t been what she was expecting and her heart dropped far more than it had any right to do. But this was business, having been clouded temporarily by pre-Christmas, cold, cosy New York insanity, moonlight kissing and a night of insanely hot sex. It was time to move on. She opened her mouth to deliver something that would reestablish the boundaries they had both crossed but he beat her to it…

‘And that’s when I knew I was out of my fucking mind.’ He shook his head. ‘I was going to palm you off to Sybille, walk away, try to forget how I feel, because I was too scared for you to find out who I really am.’

She didn’t say anything, she just looked into his eyes, reading the mix of anguish and confusion there.

‘But I had a conversation with Sybille and it helped to remind me why I had made sacrifices to begin with. And it was not so I could live a life of fear.’

‘Luca,’ Gabriella said. ‘I don’t want you to tell me anything that makes you feel like you’re compromising something.’

‘Why not?’ he asked. ‘Because isn’t that how we need to be when something matters to us? When someone matters?’

‘I don’t know,’ she answered, swallowing. ‘Because I’ve never been in that situation before.’