Page 162 of The Jealous Girl

‘It’s what the police thought.’

‘They didn’t know me.’ I stared at him. ‘You did. At least you should have done.’

‘I was overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to do. What to think.’

‘And what happens the next time you get overwhelmed? Will you just leave again?’

‘No, never,’ he said firmly.

I studied him. The conviction in his voice was so strong, but I couldn’t believe him any more.

Ryan stared at me helplessly.

‘It’s not even just this time, though, is it?’ I said with a shrug. ‘Things didn’t work between us two years ago either.’

‘I know I screwed up,’ he said, running a hand through his hair. ‘I knew I had, the second you left.’ He shook his head with a grimace. ‘No, that’s not true. I knew it even before you left. I just didn’t know how to fix it.’

I tipped my head to the side. ‘I didn’t need you to fix anything.’

Ryan scoffed. ‘Sure you did. You needed more from me than I could give you. And, when you realised I wasn’t enough for you, you left.’

‘Is that really how you saw it? How you saw me?’

Ryan shrugged. ‘I know it wasn’t the life we planned, but my family needed me.’

‘I understood that.’

‘You resented me for it.’

I shook my head. ‘I admired you for it.’

Ryan stared at me in disbelief. ‘If that was true, you wouldn’t have left.’

‘I didn’t leave because your family needed you. I left because you didn’t need me.’

‘That’s ridiculous.’

‘Is it?’ I arched my eyebrows as I studied him. ‘I didn’t fit in at the stables. I tried to. I tried to find ways to be useful. Supportive. But I was always reminded that I didn’t belong in that world. Your parents, Charlotte, none of them wanted me there. And to be honest, it felt like you didn’t either.’

‘Of course I wanted you there. You were my girlfriend. My fiancée. I loved you.’

‘Did you? You didn’t act like it. You treated me like I was an inconvenience. Overdramatic. Too fussy. A burden you didn’t have time for.’

‘I knew I was difficult to be around. I was tired. Moody. I thought you’d be better off if I kept my distance. Gave you some space from all my problems.’

I shook my head sadly. That space had crushed me. The inconsistency. The unpredictability. The distance.

Yet he’d just moved through it.

Like it was normal.

Like it was permanent.

‘And then you left. You just packed your bags and walked away.’

‘What else was I supposed to do?’

‘Stay,’ Ryan said flatly, as though it was simple.