Page 5 of The Jealous Girl

Or maybe I just wanted it to mean something. I wanted to hurt him. To make him believe that my moving here hadn’t been all about him.

‘That’s great,’ he said after a moment. ‘I’m glad things worked out for you.’

I nodded firmly, as though that tiny action could prove it to him. I’d moved on.

A voice came over the speakers, announcing my flight to Malta, boarding at gate two.

I glanced towards the gate. Then again, had I ever actually moved on at all?

I reached for my bag and slung it over my shoulder. ‘I have to go, they’re calling my flight.’ As much as I wasn’t sure I wanted to go, my destination was still more appealing than staying here.

He gaped at me. ‘Wait, you’re going to Malta?’

I swallowed as I realised my mistake. I wanted to pretend I was fine, that I’d moved on, that I didn’t still carry the past with me every day. But my destination betrayed me.

I was going to Malta.

Our Malta.

I couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, couldn’t even nod. My confirmation was evident in my silence.

He shook his head. ‘I can’t believe it.’

‘Why not?’ I said, bristling. ‘It’s a beautiful place. We love it there. I love it there,’ I corrected. He wasn’t part of my decision any more. At least, not one I would admit.

He shook his head. ‘Yeah. I know. That’s not what⁠—’

‘I’ve got to go,’ I interrupted, as I started to turn away.

He nodded. ‘Yeah, me too.’

I froze. My head jolted back. I stared at him.

‘You’re not—’ I couldn’t finish the sentence, couldn’t finish the thought. He couldn’t be going to Malta too. He couldn’t be going to our place. It felt like a betrayal.

I went back to remember. To connect. But, if he was taking his new life there, his new wife, his new girlfriend, whoever he had replaced me with, then what was left for me?

I looked around again but couldn’t see anyone with him. There was only one drink in his hand.

‘Yeah,’ he said quietly. ‘I’m going there too.’ He lifted a boarding pass in his hand, one single boarding pass, and that’s when I realised he was alone.

‘Why?’ I asked before I could stop myself.

He tipped his head slightly, that familiar half-smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. ‘Isn’t that what I just asked you?’

His question silenced me again.

The familiarity of his expression, the playfulness of his tone – it was like watching an old movie play out before me. I was transported back into the past, to a time when his smile had been the centre of my world. I remembered how it felt to be wrapped in his arms, the warmth of his words when everything else felt uncertain. His whispered I love yous. The way our hands connected as we walked side by side.

He’d been everything.

And now, he was just a reminder of the past. The pain.

‘Like you said, I guess we both just really loved it there.’

He was right, we had. It had been everything once. The start of our lives together. Our future, our hopes, our dreams. The life we were building.

And it was the last time I’d truly been happy.