Page 94 of The Jealous Girl

‘You just don’t seem to be happy recently. With me,’ I added quietly.

‘I’m here, aren’t I?’

I gritted my teeth. He was doing it again. Shutting me out.

‘Then talk to me,’ I said, imploringly. ‘Let me in.’

Ryan looked away.

‘Why don’t we talk about it later?’ he said finally.

Later. It was always later.

I blinked rapidly, feeling my eyes welling with tears. I wouldn’t cry. At least not in front of him. It would only make things more strained. More pressured.

I was already losing him. They were pulling him back in. To the stables. To them.

And I was⁠—

What?

Just here.

Just waiting.

Trying not to push. Not to be too demanding. Too much.

Trying to fit.

But I couldn’t help but wonder if I ever really had.

33

NOW

Late August

Wednesday

Dead.

The word looped in my brain.

‘She’s…’ I shook my head, unable to say it aloud.

Silence lulled between us.

‘I…’ I searched for the right words to say.

But why was he calling me, of all people?

He’d barely spoken to me in the last few days. And certainly not by choice.

‘It was an accident,’ Ryan said. ‘She was out riding, and…’ His voice cracked.

‘I’m…’ I wanted to say I was sorry. Sorry for her. For him. It’s what you said in moments like this.

But the word wouldn’t come.