Page 16 of Cross’s Reckoning

"Much."

I lower myself onto him slowly, stopping when the stretch catches me. Cross immediately loosens his grip.

"Easy."

His thumb moves over my hip and I sink the rest of the way and watch his jaw lock. That feels like winning something. For a few moments, I control the pace. Cross lets me, his hands following the movement of my body instead of directing it. I lean down and bite the same shoulder again.

His restraint finally snaps and he rolls us, putting me beneath him in one smooth movement. There is nothing soft about it, but nothing careless either. Cross pays attention even while his control starts to go, changing the angle when my breathing changes, doing it again when my nails dig into his back.

I don't want tenderness tonight. I want the man who spent years refusing to touch me finally showing me what that restraint cost. So I meet him just as hard. His mouth finds mine as the pressure winds tight again, and when I come this time, Cross follows moments later with his face buried against my neck and both arms locked around me. For a while, neither of us moves. Eventually, Cross rolls onto his side and pulls me with him, not possessively enough to trap me, just close enough to make it clear he wants me there. I stay even though nothing feels solved and that's almost a relief.

"We're not pretending that meant nothing," I say.

Cross looks at me. "Wasn't planning to."

"But it doesn't mean everything's suddenly fine either."

"I know that too."

"I still don't know what I'm doing here."

His expression shifts slightly. "I know that too."

There's something in the answer I don't like. "You think I'm going back."

"I think Cyrus is your father and Perdition has been your whole life. One night doesn't erase that."

It isn't an accusation and that bothers me more than if it were.

"You don't trust me."

"I trust that you saved my life."

"That's not the same thing."

"No."

I start to sit up and Cross catches my wrist, but there isn't enough pressure to stop me if I want to go.

"I've wanted you for years, Lola. Don't confuse me being careful with me not wanting this."

My anger falters.

"How much?"

His eyes hold mine.

"More than was smart."

Somebody knocks hard on the door and Cross closes his eyes. "Fuck."

Judge's voice comes through the wood. "Kane wants both of you. Now."

Cross is out of bed immediately and the change in him tells me this isn't about us.

"Cyrus?"

"Has to be."