Page 115 of Sheltering You

No. No.

He wasn’t a killer.

Cars made their way through the tunnel, their headlights and taillights reflecting off the shiny walls, giving the long, narrow space an almost cheerful feel.

All the cheer in the world didn’t take away from the fact that they were in a tunnel. Without all the artificial light, they’d be in pure darkness.

And there was just a little too much truth in that. Because Derrick had followed his thoughts just like he’d followed the traffic, right into hell.

Lord, Forgive me. I didn’t actually commit murder, but it’s probably not okay to plot it, either.

Probably? Right.

I want to be holy like Jasmine is. No, like You are. And, to be honest, I’m not there. I like thinking about killing him. It keeps my mind off the things I don’t want to think about. So… I want to want to…be holy. I know Jasmine and I can’t be together. He sighed, hating this. Hating it. If there’s ever a chance, I want to be worthy of her. And worthy of You. Please fix my want-to.

Weird prayer, but God knew what he meant, even if he couldn’t quite figure out how to put it into words.

By the time Derrick’s car emerged from the tunnel, the sun was peeking over the horizon, barely visible between Manhattan’s skyscrapers. And Derrick was able to focus his thoughts on what would happen next.

He followed the map to their destination, then searched for a parking garage, finally finding one that would cost slightly less than his right arm.

It was probably all the tight turning as he searched for a space that woke Rabie and Jasmine.

“We are here?” Rabie asked.

“We’re in New York.” Derrick put some enthusiasm into his voice. “You hungry?”

“Starved.”

Derrick parked, climbed out, and opened Rabie’s door. “Bring all your stuff. We’ll go straight to meet your sister after this.”

Rabie climbed out and shoved his arms through the backpack straps while Jasmine walked around the car to join them.

They rode the elevator down. When they emerged onto East 45th, Rabie froze, gazing up at the buildings all around. He said something in Arabic, and Jasmine laughed.

“You’re right, it is amazing.”

Derrick always felt a little overwhelmed in this city, with the buildings and people and cars and beeping. As if that weren’t chaos enough, Christmas wreaths and bows and lights and trees seemed to adorn every available space. The city had exploded with holiday decor. Music played from who-knew-where, and a Santa standing on the sidewalk across the street was jingling a bell.

“So many people!” Rabie looked from her to Derrick. “Can we go to the Empire State Building?”

“Maybe we can see it,” he said, “but we can’t go to the top. It doesn’t open for tours until later.”

Jasmine gave him a curious look. “You checked?”

“Thought he might like it. None of the cool tourist stuff opens early enough, unfortunately.”

They found a restaurant and ordered. After taking their time to eat, they joined the throng of pedestrians and made their way to the Empire State Building. Derrick enjoyed watching Rabie and Jasmine take in the art deco structure. He’d spent a lot of time in Manhattan, since it was one of the more common destinations for his business-minded clients. Not that he always came into the city. More often than not, he found a hotel in Jersey near Teterboro Airport and hung out. He’d spent a whole lot of time in hotels by himself over the years. And going to movies by himself. Shopping, jogging, and taking in sights by himself.

Which was fine. He liked his life.

This morning, though, he was enjoying seeing Manhattan from the perspective of people who’d never been there before. Not just people, but these people. Rabie, with his open-mouthed surprise, and Jasmine…though Jasmine was more reserved than usual. She’d shown more wonder when he’d taken her to Super Target than she did seeing the skyscraper.

Perhaps their conversation had affected her like it had him. It wasn’t very nice, but a small part of him hoped so. He’d practically proposed to her. He’d hate to think she could discard that—discard him—so easily.

They headed back the way they’d come, Rabie chattering all the way. A couple of hours in New York, and he’d decided he was going to live there and build an even taller building and live on the very top floor, and wouldn’t that be amazing?

Derrick and Jasmine nodded at all the right spots. He couldn’t speak for her, but he was thankful the kid didn’t seem to expect any actual feedback because, as they neared their destination, his heart rate ticked up, his eyes catching on everybody who glanced their direction.