Page 62 of Shadowing You

Gathering her courage.

After her third bite, she set the food down. “Why didn’t you sleep with me?”

His attention snapped to her face, his eyes wide as if she’d just accused him of a crime. The look only confirmed what she’d started to suspect.

“It was your plan, the two bedrooms, right?”

“That’s not…” He set down what was left of his pastry.

“Am I wrong?”

He licked his lips, seeming to consider his answer carefully. “You’re not wrong.”

“Perhaps you wished for separate bedrooms all along. Perhaps you were not happy to sleep with me the other nights, either. You don’t want to be with me.”

He huffed out something that wasn’t quite a laugh. “That’s not it.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s…painful to sleep with you.”

“I see.” She felt the words like a slap. “I am that ugly.”

“No. Don’t be… That came out wrong.”

She sat back and crossed her arms. “I hope so.”

He dropped his head back and stared at the ceiling as if a reasonable excuse for his behavior might be written there. When he looked at her again, he was almost smiling. “It is hard to sleep beside you and not touch you. It’s hard to be with you without…being with you.”

“Oh.” That was not what she’d expected him to say, and heat climbed up her throat and into her face. She had forgotten the way her husband’s eyes could turn so dark when he was thinking about kissing her and…other things. “Who told you not to touch me?”

“Nobody, of course, but when I first saw you, you looked like…like…”

She hiked her eyebrows, daring him to finish the sentence.

“You’re beautiful, always, but you were certainly in no condition for physical intimacy. You could hardly keep your eyes open. And I just thought I should wait until you were healthy. And I didn’t know if you wanted to, or… I don’t know. I didn’t want to push you for something you weren’t ready for. We’re practically strangers, except, you know, married, and there’s no handbook. I keep thinking I need a handbook. Why are you smiling?”

Was she? She covered her mouth to hide her expression. It wasn’t funny. But it kind of was. “You are rarely flustered, my husband.”

“It’s your fault, looking all…” He gestured to her as if it was obvious what he meant.

“Looking like what?”

“Like you do in those leggings. I bought them because I figured they’d fit, but wow, you should wear them all the time. Except not in front of other people. Just around the house, when we don’t have company.”

“You’re teasing me.”

“You started it.”

“What?” That wasn’t what she’d meant. “I am not…”

“If you say so.” But his eyes were still very dark.

“If you like them, then I will get more.”

“Great. Can we change the subject now?”

“I would only say one more thing.”

He nodded, and she got the feeling he wanted her to hurry up so they could stop talking about this, which she found very odd. Of the two of them, he’d been the bold one six years ago. He’d been the one to lift her and carry her to bed when she’d been too shy to initiate anything.

She shouldn’t need courage to speak boldly to her husband, but she gathered it anyway. “I would not mind if you touched me.”