Page 35 of Cannon

“Thank God for small mercies. I suggest you’ll need a double plot to fit all the stuff you want on your property.” Whack looks at Cannon and wiggles his eyebrows.

“I’ll find out how you do that one day, Pres.” Looking at me Cannon continues, “He’s into everyone’s business. He knows what they are going to do sometimes before they do. It’s…infuriating, is what it is.”

“Ignore him, Sweetums. Now, where’s this map?” Cannon points to the wall, and I take a look. “Is this thing to scale?” I ask, as it makes the area behind the clubhouse look enormous.

“Yes, but it doesn’t cover the whole of the land. If it did we’d need at least half that size again, and it wouldn’t be worth it at this time. Not enough space, is that what you’re saying?” Whack states, then leans back in his chair and steeples his fingers.

“It means you could have a communal pool area in the center of the housing development if you wanted to. It would be cheaper and simpler than trying to build individual pools as everyone starts to have families.” I think it would be a great addition to the space that otherwise would either be wasted or filled with more houses and eventually make the place feel cramped.

Whack tosses me a pencil. “Pencil that in, and then no one can take those plots. Good idea, Babs.”

“Call me Babs again, and I’ll show you how much I dislike being called that.” Taking the pencil in both hands, I make a very clear demonstration of snapping it in half as I look directly at his crotch.

“Point taken, Barbara it is.” Whack flashes a grin at Cannon.

We spend some time poring over the map until we decide on the double plot we’d like. It is at the end of where a communal pool would go and set back from it so that the noise of everyone enjoying the pool wouldn’t be a problem. It leaves plenty of room for a front yard with a play area for our kids, though we’re not so stupid that we don’t envisage other kids coming to play on it. The double plot, or second plot as it were, would be a corner plot of the pool area so it wouldn’t prevent anyone else from taking a poolside view.

Once it’s all decided, Whack gives it his seal of approval. He likes the idea so much that he takes the three plots at the opposite end of the pool. When I raise my eyebrows at him taking three plots, he smirks, saying, “What of it? My house is going to be the biggest of any on the compound and will be built as a last-ditch defensive position if the worst should ever happen.”

“I thought of having an armory in mine, too. For similar emergencies, but a man has to have a man-cave, too. Somewhere to teach his sons and daughters how to defend themselves and their loved ones.” Seeing the look I give him, he states, “Well, we should know that we’ll be well looked after in our golden years.”

“Much more talk like this from the pair of you, and you won’t live to see your silver years, never mind any golden ones you’re hoping for!” Sniffing loudly, I take Cannon’s hand once again. As I start to pull him toward the door I say, “Come on, Sweetums. Let’s leave your Pres to design his family fortress. We can go discuss our home with armory.” I’m brought to a sudden halt when Cannon doesn’t move as expected.

“That’s the second time you’ve called me Sweetums. Am I supposed to see that as an endearing term, a nickname, or what?” Cannon looks me in the eye.

“Oh. Well. You remember the Muppet Show? They had that great, shaggy giant of a creature? He was called Sweetums, and he was always my favorite.” Hearing a loud guffaw from Whack has me realizing that I should maybe just call him that when we’re alone.

Cannon turns to his Pres, and his face is like thunder. “Pres, if you do it, I’ll resign immediately and leave the club. I am not joking. Don’t freakin’ do it.”

“Cannon! How low do you think I’d go to embarrass my favorite VP?”

“I’m the only VP you’ve ever had or likely to have. No one else would put up with you, or the shit I have to do at times. Just so we are perfectly clear on how serious I am, I would quit.” Cannon sees my confused stare. “At the next Church, he would propose a name change for me, to Sweetums, and the assholes would readily ‘AYE’ the motion, too.”

“If he does that to you, my love, you propose that he be called Gonzo. They’d probably ‘AYE’ that as well.” That cools Whack’s laughter, and he readily admits that they probably would despite any threats he made.

“Cannon, I’d like to speak with you before you disappear. I won’t keep him long, Barbara.”

Reaching up, I give my man a kiss, a rather chaste one I admit, and leave them to it. Back in the rec room, I see some of the brothers have started on the beer already. Glancing at my watch, I see that’s not so bad as I first thought, as it is nearly noon.

Heading into the kitchen, I see Julia clearing breakfast dishes and Mella making sandwiches. I’m just about to offer to help Mella when she half sneezes, half sniffles, making no attempt to cover her face and then wipes her nose on the back of her hand. Without a second thought, she carries on making sandwiches. I gasp out loud at this disgusting lack of hygiene standards, and a couple of the brothers sitting with their backs to me, a coffee each, look over.

“What’s your problem, Wannabe?” Mella sneers at me.

“Wannabe?” I ask naively.

“Yeah. Wannabe a club whore. You make more noise than we do, bitch.”

Before I know what I’m doing, I’m across the space between us. My right fist impacts her eye, and my left grabs her hair. Holding her head up, I pound my right fist time after time into her face. Only when hands grab me and pin my right arm do I stop hitting her. Someone pulls my left from her hair, and she drops to the floor in a bloody heap. Struggling to be free, Vortex whispers in my ear.

“It’s done, Barbara. She’s out cold. You put her down before she knew what had happened.” He slowly begins to release me as he feels the tension oozing out of me. Releasing me fully, he turns his head away and shouts, “Cannon. Kitchen. Now.”

I stand and look around the kitchen. The two brothers who were having coffee, who I recognize now as Hellion and Ghost, give me a chin lift and a slow clap. No one I notice makes any attempt to see how Mella is. Julia is standing by the dishwasher, mouth hanging open in total shock.

Hands grab my shoulders and spin me around before Cannon looks me up and down for any signs of injury. “Are you okay? What happened? What the…?”

Vortex speaks for me, as I think I’m in shock at my own violent reaction. “She’s fine, Cannon. In fact, she’s more than fine. I’d say she was downright awesome.” With that Hellion and Ghost agree and give a cheer.

Julia speaks for the first time. “Mella was saying some awful shit to Barbara and before we knew what was happening, Barbara had pummeled her into submission. If Vortex hadn’t stopped her, I don’t think Barbara was going to stop until she’d punched all the way through Mella.”