Page 81 of Tame Our Wild

Which means my time with her is ticking away as she prepares to leave for good, and that hollow feeling I’ve lived with will come back in full force the second she leaves. The unknowns of what happens next terrify the hell out of me. I was truthful when I said I’m falling for her, and I wish I weren’t. It leaves room for new complications, considering all the things that could happen next.

My life has been one uncontrollable mess since my sister’s accident, and Harlow is another addition to the things I’d never be able to control.

She came along with her sharp tongue and fearless spirit, and my world caved in, forcing me to reopen wounds I had stuck a Band-Aid over. The walls collapsed, and watching Harlow’s every ride was a special form of torture. She may have been trying to prove to millions that she can keep up with us, but I couldn’t shake the fact that the universe sent her to torture me.

The moment she told me that I said, “Stick to the women’s circuit,” to her at the Ember Ridge Rodeo years ago, I froze. I recall that rodeo, but I don’t remember Harlow, let alone the other tens of fans who would crowd around me after every event.

And when those blue eyes searched my face with an intensity that held me still, all the pieces started to fall into place. It made sense why she instantly despised me the “first time” I met her at the season kickoff, her first year. It made sense why she always tried to avoid me at events.

If I said those things to her, I’ll admit that I was a dick. But as I said, it’s not her, it’s just the reminders she gives me. The way she doesn’t know her presence is like claws digging into my soul, ripping me apart and forcing me to acknowledge the fears I’d done such a damn good job of burying before her.

She’s started to bleed into all the broken parts of me. Has me rethinking life, even though there’s still a big fucking promise I made to Paisley hanging over my head. That is the only thing I can control.

Harlow lifts her beer to her mouth, and I watch intently as her tongue darts out over her plush pink lips that I’m craving to sink my teeth into again. The only thing keeping me from marching over there and staking my claim on her is that this is what she wanted.

Not that I have any right to claim her when we’ve only fucked. I know we should talk about where this is going with the end of the season creeping up on us, but I don’t want to ruin whatever this is. Because whatever it is feels good.

But it could feel better if she’s thinking about you the same way you think about her.

We practically shot straight past the middle ground and are lingering on the other side. We aren’t quite friends, but we aren’t … in a relationship either.

I don’t know what we are, but the way I’m eyeing her is anything but friendly.

And since she is with Brian, the happy-go-lucky bull rider who ropes everyone in with his happy fucking smile, and not me, is provoking me in the worst ways.

Taking a pull from my beer, I down the rest of the warm contents. Even if it were ice cold, it wouldn’t cool the whirl of jealousy spinning in my stomach. I place the bottle on the table with more force than needed and fold my arms over my chest. I should look away from them, distract myself with another drink at the bar, or participate in the conversation flowing around me.

As I said, I should look away.

But now I’ve found that whenever Harlow Hartt is in the room, my eyes gravitate toward her like she’s the fucking sun I’m starting to revolve around. She must notice me staring because the second her eyes land on me, the pulse in my neck pounds as if it wants to burst out of my body.

The music shifts into something a little less country and more upbeat. I glance at the dance floor, watching as the two-stepping turns into a jumbled mess. It’s not late by any means, but since it is eleven o’clock, there are plenty of people letting the alcohol fuel their movements as bodies start magnetizing toward each other.

When I glance back at Harlow and Brian’s table, she gives me this look across the bar that can only be described as pure mischief by the way her mouth tilts at one corner before she turns back to Brian. Maybe it’s the beer flowing through my veins, but whatever that look was that passed through her eyes, I’m not sure I like it.

She leans in and says something to him, and he laughs. Then Brian leans in and says something to Dalton on the other side of him. Dalton smirks and nods at whatever he said before Harlow and Brian move off their barstools and stand, turning toward the dance floor. She’s in her hat, the bar lights casting a shadow over her face that does nothing to obstruct the playful smile she throws over her shoulder at me.

Oh, fuck no.

She reaches for his hand, and they shuffle onto the floor, starting to move to the pounding beat that’s as loud as the one behind my rib cage. Harlow twists her hips, drawing my eyes to her ass in those jeans that are skin-tight over her curves that I’ve held in my hands. That I’ve tasted with my tongue.

God, she is a beautiful thing.

Dancing with Brian. Fucking. Sanders.

A rough hand claps on my shoulder.

“Shit,” I hiss, trying to catch my breath from the scare Matt gave me.

His manic chuckle scrapes sharply against my skin. “Damn. I thought you were out of it, but I didn’t think you were this gone. Might as well have another drink then.”

My eyes roll and land right back where they were before. He must follow my line of sight because I see him shaking his head out of the corner of my eye.

“Ahh, you are a goner.” He sighs. “But it’s not because of the alcohol.”

Of course, because the universe wants me to break, Brian pulls out his swing dancing moves, twirling Harlow and making her laugh. I can't hear her, but it cuts straight through me all the same, making me dig my nails into my biceps. It’s more painful than when the needle was piercing my skin when I got my tattoos.

I keep my arms folded and lean in closer to Matt, so the others don’t hear. “What do you think would happen if people found out about us?” I’m genuinely curious. Because if Brian keeps dancing with her like this, I’m about to say fuck it and take his place, not caring who’s around us.