Page 76 of Slow Burn

“What will we say? There’s no reason for me to go with you,” I protest, but my tone doesn’t convey any kind of conviction.

“I’ll think of something. Some reason for Austin and Nash to stay back at the ranch,” he murmurs into my neck. “Come with me. I want you there, cheering me on. Seeing you on the sidelines, it’s motivating. You make me better.”

I let out a long exhale as if the decision is difficult, but there’s nothing I want to do more. Having Beck all to myself for a weekend sounds like a dream.

“Ok,” I answer.

Beck moves me over to the bed and sits me down, nudging me until I’m laying back on the mattress. His mouth moves from my neck to my breasts, tugging my shirt down and taking my nipple into his mouth with a long pull.

As his mouth trails lower, butterflies careen around in my gut in a flurry of excitement and lust. I know there’s a ticking clock on this bliss.

My job at Wild Sage is already winding down, and it will be time for me to seriously start looking for a job in the city. And there’s still the issue of Austin.

Even though I want Beck to tell my brother about us, a seed of doubt and worry has already been planted in my gut. Somehow I know this isn’t going to end well. Not with Austin’s track record for taking bad news.

This time together may be all we have before it all comes crashing down around us. But as Beck tugs my pants down and finds my slick sex with his tongue, I decide I’m going to enjoy it for everything it is.

I’m going to live these moments fully.

I’m going to let myself feel it all.

Chapter 29

Lyla

I roll over to the unfamiliar feeling of sheets that aren’t mine, even though the smell of them is like home. Beck isn’t next to me; I know right away because I feel asleep in his arms, curled into his strong and solid side. Now, the space beside me is cool.

The more time I spend with Beck like this, the more I want with him. Every day my feelings get bigger, harder to ignore. The reality is, I don’t know what the future holds. I still haven’t figured out where I belong.

I’m stuck in between two places. My life in the city was supposed to be expansive, give me room to grow, room to be whoever I wanted to be without the expectations of everyone around me. Sometimes, a small town can feel stifling, suffocating.

Sage Valley used to be that way for me. I used to walk around like I had a vice around my throat, unable to breathe because I felt like I was constantly under a microscope. But I haven’t felt that since I’ve been back. It’s been the opposite.

Sutton and Skye welcomed me into their friendship with open arms. People in town seem genuinely happy to see me again, and I’m starting to wonder if all the judgement I felt was all in my head.

And the most surprising part of all of it? Wild Sage feels like it’s where I’ve always belonged. All this wide open space, rolling hills that go on for miles, and breathtaking mountain views. It gives me a strange kind of perspective, it makes me feel free.

I find my phone on the nightstand, and open my e-mail app, remembering the notification I saw come through last night.

When I click on the message, I squint one eye closed and mentally shield myself for a rejection, even though at this point, I should be used to getting rejections by now. But instead, as my eyes skim over her e-mail, my eyes grow wide with surprise.

It’s a job offer. A proper, put down in writing, offer with a salary that just about makes my dinner-plate sized eyes fall out of my head. I sit up in bed and rub my eyes to make sure I’m reading the words correctly.

I was very impressed with your interview, and I believe you’d make a great addition to the team. I also want to commend you on the way you stood your ground with your previous employer. In the spirit of transparency, I am well aware of what transpired, and want to let you know that having an ethical backbone is highly respected here at Bloom.

I release a breath that seemed to be trapped in my lungs, relief washing over me at how Shirley was able to look past the drama I left in my wake. How she was able to see me, and all the things I stand for.

It’s a lucky break, and one I know I’m not going to stumble upon again any time soon. She’s given me a week to consider her offer, but has made a point of letting me know that there are other candidates she’d like to reach out to if the answer is no.

A solid answer is not one I can give. A few weeks ago, it would have been an immediate and resounding yes. But now?

I glance over at the other side of the bed, sheets still rumpled where Beck laid next to me all night. My heart clenches at the thought of him as I run my hand over the cool bedding, thinking about how surprised I’ve been by Beck, how wrong I was about him. The cowboy I once considered off-limits, not only because he’s my brother’s best friend, but also because he seemed so emotionally unavailable, has more to him than meets the eye.

I’ve come to see him for who he truly is, and I realize that I misjudged him this entire time. Those scowls aren’t an expression of disdain, it’s concern. He cares so deeply for those around him, he just expresses it differently than I do. He tries to be a steady, grounding force for the people he loves. Reliable. Responsible. Loyal.

It’s his loyalty that could be the very downfall of us. It’s the reason I need to keep my emotions in check, not let them get the better of me the way I always do. I’ve been disappointed by men too many times before.

So I don’t want to write Shirley off just yet. The smart thing to do is the one I’m not used to. Giving myself time and space to process how I feel about all of this.