Page 32 of The Rhythm of their Souls

I pause for a moment to see how Theo is taking in the information. He nods at me, almost like telling me to continue, like he knows there’s more to this story.

“I’ve been in a relationship before. His name was Noah. I was young and naïve, desperate for someone to love me. And he was a good actor. He skillfully manipulated my emotions, knowing I was in a fragile state. There was no hiding that from him. When he had the opportunity, he took the one thing I had control over: my innocence. Once he claimed what he wanted, I was nothing more than a toy, and I allowed it for a long time.

“Until I caught him screwing one of my friends in his precious Mustang, and that was it for me. I never saw him again after that. But I can’t blame him or the bully from school. It’s not Noah’s fault I stuck around for as long as I did. I stayed because I felt like I deserved nothing better. And if it was so easy for my father to abandon me and Nora when I was only five, then surely I was worthless to most.”

Shit, this is the moment where Theo is about to jump out of this hammock and make a run for it because who the hell wants to hear those things or even deal with someone who has such a depressing background.

I would understand if he’s done with me and this conversation. Who am I to judge?

I nervously look up at him. There is pain in his expression but also rage. He quickly looks away while running his hand through his hair. “I’m so fucking sorry you had to go through that, Olive. The thought of someone taking advantage of you burns me to my core. Honestly, all of this. I can’t wrap my head around it. Fuck all of them. If only I could have come into your life first, never would you have had to question your worth, ever.”

His words are so comforting, and I know them to be true. There is no judging, just understanding. He makes it so easy to confide in him. We sit quietly momentarily, listening to the breeze blow through the palm trees.

A weight has lifted from my shoulders. And truthfully, I don’t want this night to end.

“How do you do it?” Theo asks with genuine curiosity in his tone.

I tilt my head at him. “How do I do what?”

He pauses for a moment, scanning my expression. “How do you keep going with everything you’ve been through?” No one has ever cared to ask me that before.

I look away for a second to pick at imaginary threads on the side of the hammock, soaking in his question; I then let out a soft sigh. “Giving up has crossed my mind a few times. Right now, saying the words out loud feels so peaceful. I know how easy it would be just to let go, but I can’t bring myself to do it. The little version of me deserves better. She deserves the world, and I keep telling myself that even if I am eighty years old, withering away in my bed.

“One day, she will hold the world in her hands for the first time, and she will know what love and acceptance are. But if that day never comes and I am on my deathbed, I will hold that little broken girl so tight, and I will tell her she is worthy, she is loved, and I will hold her until my last breath.”

Wow, I can’t believe I just said all that. I’m sure it sounded very morbid and depressing. Strangely, it felt good to vocalize it with someone listening. And I meant every word. Hopefully, he doesn’t think I’m crazy, but I couldn’t blame him otherwise.

Worried about how he may look at me now, I finally bring my eyes back up to his. Theo’s eyebrows are deeply furrowed, and I’m almost certain that his eyes are glazed over. Ugh, I should have kept my damn mouth shut. The last thing I want is for someone to feel pity for me.

Before I’m able to form words to apologize, Theo sits up in the hammock, placing his long legs on either side for support. He leans in and grabs my face, combing his fingers through my partially ocean-drenched hair. Our eyes meet again. There is a fire burning behind his stare.

His breathing becomes heavy before he grits out, “That little girl was you, Olive, and it’s you that deserves nothing fucking less than the universe.”

Whoa, that was deep. His words pulsate through my guarded heart, causing an ache that almost hurts my chest.

“What do you even see in me, Theo?” My words come out shaky.

He brings his eyes to my mouth, then quickly locks them back with mine. “I see a girl that was robbed of so many things and forced to grow up too soon. I see a woman who has gone through the deepest trenches and made it out stronger. I see a beautifully broken human who sees the world through kind eyes. I see love when I look at you.

“So much that it seeps from your pores and into this sick world. Because I see you, Olive. The good, the broken, the little girl that craves affection. I want to fill that void you’ve lived in for so long. Let me in. Let me find the scattered pieces of your soul and hold them close. I can’t promise you the Universe, but I can promise you a piece, a piece that is filled with all of me.”

His words wrap around me, cradling me tight. Theo gently wipes warm tears I didn’t realize were trickling down my face. I can’t control their release, and just as another makes its way down my cheek, he leans in and kisses my jaw, taking the salty tear with him.

I watch as his lips slightly curl up. “You’re even beautiful when you cry, and that is intriguing in itself.” He runs his thumb over my quivering, tear-soaked lips.

Without warning, he caresses them with his, stealing my tears with every kiss. Within seconds, he parts my lips with his tongue, and our mouths become one. Our tongues clash together, creating a perfect rhythm. Butterflies dance around in my stomach.

Everything with Theo feels genuinely real, and I’ve tried my hardest to fight the spark that ignited in my soul the night I first laid eyes on this beautiful man in front of me. Just having him near me makes me feel safe. I don’t even care right now; letting him in feels right. It took me a while to realize that my walls had already crumbled with each interaction we shared. This is me choosing to let him into my heart. And if this ends up being a failed attempt at happiness, I can at least say I fucking tried.

Chapter 19

Here I am, stuck back in dreadful reality, and this work week has gone by so slowly. Two weeks have long passed since the beach trip, and it’s all I’ve been able to think about. All that transpired Saturday night. Theo and I stayed up until around 5 a.m. Sunday morning. We explored each other’s minds, and eventually, each other’s bodies. We went from deep conversations lying in the hammock to deep foreplay in the hot tub. And that man had electricity running through every nerve in my body, so much that I could have jump-started a damn car if necessary.

All it takes is him touching my skin, and it feels like a defibrillator sending electric charges to my soul, putting pieces of life back into its darkness. But once his touch left me, I could sense the darkness overshadowing the light again. It’s like Theo is my life support, and without him near, I can feel my existence shutting down breath by breath. I imagine the hospital monitor beeping in my ear, my pulse slowing drastically.

I didn’t want the beach trip to end. After staying up so late, we finally made our way to the guest bedroom Theo was staying in. It was the best sleep I’ve had in a decade. He held me flush against him, and I didn’t have one bad dream. In the strangest way, I can still sense his strong arms wrapped around me, caressing me, holding me close.

There was a second before I drifted away into a deep sleep, where I felt a lump in my throat; tears fought their way to the corners of my eyes. It was an overwhelming emotion that clouded my mind.