Page 44 of Realm of the Wicked

Kiss me. The words shocked me like a bolt of lightning, an immediate wave of sobriety.

What the fuck was I doing? I couldn’t be doing this. This would only end in disaster. There was only one way out of this situation, and it wasn’t a happy ending for both of us.

‘I… I can’t.’ My hands fell from her hips, and I pulled my leg out from between her. ‘I’m sorry.’

Stella blinked up at me, cheeks red and flushed, hair wild around her. ‘You can’t?’

‘I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have forced you into that.’ Damn it. What had I been thinking? Touching her. Telling her to use me. We could never happen. This could never happen. And all I’d been doing was torturing myself with a taste of something I could never have.

Stella crossed her arms over her chest again, furrowing her brows. ‘What the fuck is exactly going on?’

I reached my hand out without thinking, wanting to reassure her, to touch her once more, before I dropped my arm. Any more touching than necessary would just haunt me further. Even now, I’d be tormented by the sounds she made. ‘What’s going on is that you’re going back to bed, and so am I.’

‘And everything that just happened?’

I could hear the frustration in her voice, the anger, the embarrassment. I had put that there. And it was for that reason amongst many that I knew I was no good for her. I wanted to give her a chance. That chance didn’t include my baggage.

I shoved away from her, completely sober once more.

‘It was a dream, Bambi.’

16

STELLA

Kiss me. The words lingered on my tongue as I laid in my bed, forever tattooed into my memory. Kiss me.

I groaned, rolling over to press my face against the pillow to drown out the images I couldn’t escape, no matter how hard I tried. I was an idiot, plain and simple. The moment I’d seen Damien in the hallway, I knew he hadn’t been sober. He’d been talking to himself, and I found myself curious. But the moment we made eye contact, I realized what a stupid idea it’d been to investigate. Something dangerous simmered in his gaze, like the blade of a knife I tiptoed along.

For a moment, it’d been nice to imagine Damien wanted me, too. That I wasn’t just crazy, making up feelings where there were none. Until I whispered those two words. Kiss. Me.

Apparently, I was good enough to damn. A decent target for teasing. But actually laying his lips on me? Too much. He wouldn’t stoop so low. I was only human, after all.

It’d been several weeks since that moment in the hallway, and whatever had passed between us, Damien obviously regretted. He kept his distance from me, only making conversation when necessary, and avoiding me completely otherwise. Our dinners were tense, only Agatha and I speaking over plates of the most delicious food I’d ever eaten. Beef wellington. Pistachio cheesecake.

Whatever. His loss, really. I’d been more than gracious giving him the chance to be friends, but if he didn’t want to be, well. No sweat off my back.

Or so I told myself as I laid awake at night, the memory of that moment in the hallway repeating itself over and over, a movie stuck on an endless loop I couldn’t turn off.

I hurt you, and still you crave me.

It wasn’t a lie. I did crave him. I couldn’t begin to understand why, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. Maybe some small part of it was Stockholm Syndrome, but a bigger part of me wondered if it was because the first time I’d ever really felt seen was standing in Damien’s presence.

It was strangely lonely in the house, knowing Damien went out of his way not to interact with me. I guessed it made sense. After all, he was the Devil, and I was a human captive. We shouldn’t be friends. Or frenemies, for that matter. I filled my days the best I could, reading everything I could get my hands on in the library. On nice days, I spent time with Agatha in the garden, soaking up as much sun as I could, helping Agatha in her futile mission to tame the sprawling garden.

‘I didn’t expect it to be sunny here. I was picturing thunderstorms every day.’

‘The weather will turn on a dime. One day, it’ll be this, and the next, it could be frigid. Shoo!’ Agatha brushed her dirty hands off on worn jeans and scared off one of the two-headed ravens that were always following us around the garden.

‘Mmm.’ I watched a small caterpillar inch its way across a sun-drenched leaf, listening with one ear. Did the caterpillar realize how trapped it was? Or did the garden feel large enough that it never really saw it as a cage?

I would never see Grace again. I was trapped inside a beautiful prison, one with color and life, lush foods and a comfortable bed, but I would never see my sister again. Most people I knew associated prisons with gray cinder blocks, chains and cells. Here I was, with the sun shining above me, knowing I had no chance of parole, ever. Probably didn’t help that I knew the sun was fake, the moon shining just as bright next to it. I was lonely. Lost. Falling into the monotony of the life here. As much as I would do anything for Grace, I woke up with sadness weighing on me. Maybe this was all my life would ever be. An endless series of days of helping in the garden, of silent dinners, of wondering if Grace was okay. Day in and day out until my bones became dust, and my skin withered away to nothing, and maybe then, I wouldn’t be alone any more. Because if Damien didn’t take my soul, then I had an end point. One day, I would die, and if I was lucky, I would see Grace again.

‘I’m serious, Stella. The weather here is a fickle beast. She’ll switch up on you faster than you can blink. If you’re not with me, it’d be best if you stayed close to the house.’ She sat back on her heels, cocking her head to one side. ‘Are you even listening to me?’

‘Of course I’m listening to you. Don’t stray too far from the house without you.’ I refrained from rolling my eyes. I knew Agatha just wanted to help. ‘I don’t foresee a future where I’d want to be wandering the woods alone, so I don’t think it will be a problem.’

Agatha simply gave me a look, one I’d seen on my mother dozens of times as a stubborn teenager. A look that screamed, I don’t believe you, but I don’t have the energy to argue.