Page 91 of Winter Gods & Serpents

“Isn’t it hard being so wary of the world all the time. No trust in gods, not in people either, nor on your family since you have just become a traitor to your father and the crown. Isn’t it lonely? One woman against the world?”

“No,” she blankly answered. “Also, I am not alone”

“Yes, Nia, your shadow I suppose and Caiden. What does he do exactly, beside wielding a sword on your behalf?”

“He carries my refreshments; nuts, fruit, and stuff.”

I grit my jaw, biting out blood from my tongue. “I am being serious.”

She turned halfway to him. “Cai, do you have almonds or cashews?”

“Cashews,” he said, tossing a bag of them to her.

My mouth had dropped open as she offered the bag to me. “Want one?”

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Prove me right, then wrong and then back right again.”

“I believe that is a confliction you have to solve with yourself.”

“Tell me something.” My voice growing cold in realization that she was right again. “What does it cost you? A life that you take?”

“Nothing.”

“That is a lie.”

“Another confliction you have to solve with yourself.”

I pulled the reins bringing us to a halt. “Get off.”

She yawned. “Can’t we do this later? I am lacking the energy at the moment, it won’t be as fun.”

I dismounted, the rest of the squadron brought to a halt. “Get off. Now.”

Caiden approached and she did not move. “I thought I warned you once.”

I grabbed her arm and faded us both somewhere in the middle of the forest. Her lids lowered dizzy, and she struggled to steady herself on her feet.

“Answer me.”

She chuckled tiredly. “You wish to know this badly?” she provoked, her eyes gleaming with malice. “Nothing but pure, pure satisfaction. Overwhelming, like a full breath of air after a long day inside.”

“Lies,” I spat. “Lies and more lies.”

Everyone lost something when they took a life; most lost their innocence, empathy, humanity. What did this one lose when she had either of that?

“What do you wish to know? That is so hard, and my soul consumes at the sully of my hands with blood?” she asked, raising a brow. “But it is not true. What I lie on the other hand is how much more I want, how dissatisfying and hungering the feel is; how much more I crave.”

I shook my head, I was wrong, monsters could feel compassion too, they could hurt too, how could I forget. “You are truly that—the monster we hunted.”

She laughed darkly. “A ravished one.”

“They are people,” I shouted. “Living, breathing people, with lives—lives that you take. They die, hurting and causing others to hurt.”

Something shifted in her. “I was not a person then, neither were my siblings or my mother; what were we? What am I, Kilian?” she shouted back coming close to me, her breath ragged and panting. “Am I not a person? Was I not then, even if I am not anymore?”