Page 285 of Spring Guardians & Songbirds

I tried to take a step toward them, but Kilian wrapped a strong hand around my arm, stopping me.

No.

No.

Permission—they’d surrendered their lives.

Then Nia and Mal did the same. And so did Albius, and Freya and Ibe.

A silent sob wracked my chest.

No.

No.

Melanthe gathered her palm in a fist and squeezed. Everyone heaved for air and shook from the magic clinging to their bodies. “Decide quickly.”

My trembling lips pulled to a snarl. “I’m going to rip that child out of your womb and let you watch as I feed it to rats. Piece by piece” Thunder struck behind her and her face twitched just a little. The stuttering laughter climbing up my throat was quivering poison. “Little sister will find that mercy, won’t she? I’d save her from being the bride of hells.”

Her hand loosened just a little and the hold of her magic slipped.

Demir pulled a dagger out of his baldric and grabbed Sebastian, tugging on his hair and resting the blade to his neck. “I’ve missed breakfast, I’d like to not miss lunch. Be quick.”

My friend didn’t falter, didn’t waver, didn’t blink. But I did. And when blood began gushing down where Demir’s dagger nicked skin, fear swallowed me whole.

I’d lose if I surrendered to my father.

I’d lose if I surrendered them to my father.

I’d lost both ways.

And if I would lose, I would make sure to lose the best way I could. My brain began surging with solutions, it worked through thousands of outcomes—and there was only one that made the most sense. My smile was easy. “You know what I’m going to do to that lover of yours, Vas? I’m going to rip out every feather and make you a nice little blanket with it.”

Every corner of the tower filled with that creeping sense that triggered each fibre in my body. His skin began turning a glistening green and that scent of rot and unusual magic heightened in the air. “You cannot kill what cannot be killed.”

“No, but I’ll have so much fun trying.”

He pulled away from Sebastian—his expression was victorious. “You’ve made your choice.”

Kilian took a step forward. “I’ll come instead of her.”

I grabbed his arm, but he would not budge—he stood before me like a shield. What was he doing? He couldn’t do this to me. He wouldn’t do this to me. He knew what it would do to me. “No. You want me, right?” I asked, attempting to rein calm over my rage. “Insurance in case your little armour does not work and you’re not able to wield the sceptre.”

My father’s face reddened with ire and his narrowed attention bounced between Kilian and I. “Since you’re so well aware.”

“Visha,” I said, without turning to her. “Get the sceptre pieces.” I was only a small part of the plan to bring my father down. And if they lost me…they’d still know how to bring him down. My kingdom already had a king, and I knew he would put all his might in protecting it.

Every head lifted and turned to me with terror and panic.

Kilian’s body went still as ice and when he turned to me, the look on his face was painted with pain of the most heart wracking sort. “You will not. You will not do this.” His attention went to Visha who backed out of the gates obeying my order without hesitation. “Love, please. Please. Take this decision with me.” His hands cupped my face. “Please. Take it with me. Let's make it together.”

There was no decision to make. And he knew. He knew I’d give my life for those people. I rested my forehead on his chest, feeling him against me, letting his scent of spring soothe me. “I love you,” I said, holding him tightly. “I love you so much, Kil.”

“Please,” he murmured into my hair. “Please. He will hurt you. I cannot let him hurt you again. Not anymore.”

“He’s already hurt me.” Pulling away a little, I reached for my sword and handed it to him. “Anima,” I whispered, “accissor. The smith who did this sword was from Modr. Find him.” Courage shook me as I tried to remember everything. “Strike a deal with the unblessed for more metal. I will find the sphinx's heart. Take care of our family. Take care of Olympia. Take care of you.”

He shut his eyes tightly and shook his head—he knew there was no convincing me otherwise. “You will return to me. You will return to me,” he repeated as if to convince himself more than me. He held my face and kissed me. “I will come for you. I’ve waited for fifteen years, and I will not wait for a day more. I will come to get you.”