Page 37 of Season Warriors & Wolves

His court also kept glancing my way as if they expected me to interrupt. But this wasn’t my intention. Nor a part I needed to play anymore. Before, I had to be loud to deter attention from my real intentions, intended to be challenging to bring out the worst from those I needed answers from, and disrespectful in order to know who wasn’t aware how to bow regardless of whether they respected me or not. Now, they feared my silence more, and that made me quite pleased. Enough not to huff sighs or snort at the incredulity of some of their plans.

Melanthe was still recovering from birth, and I had yet to see my brand-new sibling. Though I was sure they had even taken her somewhere else and far from here.

I was chained. Without magic. Weaponless. Guarded. Yet they still thought me to be capable. I was so flattered my eyes would water had this dry winter air not shrivelled my eyeballs to the size of peas.

Moregan had not stopped trying to get my attention and that was bothering me quite a bit considering Demir could basically sniff intentions before they were even thoughts in my brain. And Gara—sweet Gara sat before me, so proud. When my eyes landed on the thick, marred scar around her wrist, she flinched, pulling on her long sleeve to hide it from me.

“Princess,” someone called, and I returned to attention. “What are your thoughts on it?”

The looks that father and Demir gave the general told me they were not pleased to know of my opinion on accepting a trade with southern Eldmoorian merchants.

“Why southern?”

“They seem to be the only ones with enough stock, Your Highness. Hanai has cut trade with most of the continent and the market doesn’t seem able to satisfy demand and hiked most prices which caused Crafters to not produce a majority of the potions, herbs and medicine we need. We’ve been lucky and have been offered all the products we needed by these merchants. At a high price, however.”

I fought a grin. “Gold is an inexpensive cost in this economy, isn’t it?”

“These days everything is an expensive cost, Your Highness,” someone mumbled, and father’s jaw ticked.

“Well, gold comes to us, right? Is gold still doing that, or has it gotten cold feet these days?” I asked, trying to reign in a joyous smile when all ducked their heads like ostriches.

“Your warm jests do lighten up the air, Your Highness,” a man said. “I appreciate you trying to soften the grave situation.”

Oh my. Grave?

Father cleared his throat, and everyone sat back upright at ninety degrees. “Let’s call this a day. My daughter in law has a small child to look after all alone, I mustn’t delay her.”

“Yes,” I said. “You must bring my niece to see me sometime, Gara. I’d love to meet the adorable little thing.”

The new Lady of Grasmere looked uncomfortable but nodded, quickly standing and rushing to leave after curtsying to my father.

“Where are you going?” he asked before I could make a run for it with all the rest of his court.

“I visit mother’s grave sometimes in the afternoons when the weather is not as bad.”

“I’ve been told.” He stood and reached me. “I will join you.”

“Why, you need a piss or something?”

“Child—”

“You’ve done nothing but fuck with her life. Stay clear of fucking with her death. You owe it to her to forget her, not even think about her, mention her or even dare ponder on her memory. Not even a bit. Even if it is thrust upon you to remember her, force yourself to forget it. If not for the sake of her, for the sake of you. Because I swear, father, I will make it my mission to rip her existence out of your head.”

He slapped me, grabbed my jaw and backed me to the wall, hard. “I loved her,” he growled in my face. “You wretched thing. I loved that woman.”

He flinched when my cackles echoed about the room. “You loved nothing more than watching her slowly die off. The way your eyes lit up seeing her wither into herself—that…that I will never forget. The night she gave her life for me, she was happy to do it. And you know what I think? She was not happy to save me.” My voice shook. “No, she was thrilled to leave you. So spare me the bullshit, it is getting exhausting. If you really loved her, then why? Why did you want this more than you wanted her? Why do you want this so much?”

His mouth pursed and he retreated, taking a seat on his bejewelled and gilded chair. “I’ve never told you stories when you were little, my rose.” He pointed for me to take a seat. “How about I tell you one now?”

“If you must torture me some way.”

After I had sat, he gave me an eerie smile, too soft to belong to a man like him—too gentle to be given to me. “Do you know of the date I was born?”

“Yes, I light a candle on that day and wish you death each year. Right at the stroke of midnight. Maybe I will light a dozen next year or maybe I’ll just light an entire fire. If we are lucky, the northern wind will pick it and spread it over the forest, down the city and around the walls. It will burn all, if I am lucky, it will burn you, too.” I drew a long deep breath, pretty satisfied with my daydream. “Where were we? Something about the unfortunate day you were born.”

“The day I was born, child, was one of the holiest days in our kingdom. A comet crossed the Isjordian skies when I took my first breath, grazing our kingdom so close that it almost kissed land. Songs were sung, praises were raised, expectations exploded with word that I would become the greatest king Isjord had ever crowned. And I did—I did become great. However, there was always someone I bowed to. First it was a teacher or a priest, then my father, his advisor, a battalion commander or two—I bowed to respect, hierarchy, and fear sometimes. I thought it would change once I became king, once my useless and witless father died, but it worsened. I needed to bow to many more when I sat on my throne.” He leaned forward. “And the worst was that I had to bow to a god, too. One who had left this land for me to better without doing anything and receiving everything. Praise, adoration, loyalty. No matter what I did, it was at his grace. So, I burned temples first. Reprinted Eirlys liber to say exactly what I wanted and needed it to say, I burned all the original scriptures, vandalised statues, redrew guardians and Hodr into a dark pit, and then,” he said, grinning, “I slowly killed their god and the prayers sent to him. Soon, I will become their new one. After all, there were beings who once were merely mortals and made of bleeding flesh and breakable bones, who became through praise and prayer—divine. But first, all must praise and pray to me, the ultimate faith. If not by choice, it will have to be by force. When Aurora wipes out the rest of the realm, there will only be me. I will give hell and heaven out of my palm.”

Just when I thought I’d dug out the roots, the plant turns out to be a vine. Shock is what I should be feeling. Problem is, I was beyond tired of his antics to even feel anything. Leaning forward, I said, “You need a hobby. That’s it. Collecting stamps or something.” I clicked my fingers. “Making mugs. Definitely some ceramics need to be involved. Pottery? Perhaps I can add a knitting class to my prisoner list of duties. Do you have a steady hand?”