Page 115 of Autumn Queens & Shadows

“Look at me, Thora,” I said, gently turning her attention to me, trying not to startle her out of wherever stupor she was falling into. “It is not.”

“Whose is it? Someone has to bear fault, Malik. I can’t just be this stupid for no reason.”

It was mine. For thinking I could keep her.

The skies crackled, silent lightning flashing once and then twice.

Her lips parted and she looked up again, frowning at the gathering clouds. “It’s about to rain.”

“You love rain.”

“I do,” she whispered, her voice lost. “But it never rains anymore. Not since you left. You even took rain with you.”

She laid in bed across from me, sleeping soundly and breathing softly. Nothing could torment the look of calm on her face. Nothing but me, it seemed, because when I touched her rosy cheek, she stirred. Her eyes opened just that moment and landed straight on mine, as if she knew I’d been watching her. Wordlessly, she shuffled herself closer to me until her face was resting on my shoulder and her arm laid limply over my stomach.

“Pretend it’s because I had to drink,” she said, yawning.

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Then hold me, and I’ll pretend to be too drunk to remember what you did.”

I didn’t want to do that either. I wanted her to remember me just like I’d been remembering every little detail of hers for the past ten years. “Thora—”

“Shhh,” she whispered, burying her face on the crook of my neck, her fingers moving up my stomach, over my chest until they rested on my cheek, a trail of shivers remaining behind. I could feel her lips pull into a smile over my neck as her fingers blindly grazed my nose, my eyes, my lips. “Can’t believe you’re real, my heart is about to leave me for dead.”

I brought her hand to my lips, not believing myself she was real either. Sometimes I would think our souls might have already met in some other lifetime because of how well they knew one another. “You can have mine.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll treat it well.”

“I know you will.” Turning on my side, I hugged her body to me. “You’ve only ever been gentle to it. Even though it never knew what gentle was.”

She raised her head to me, her emerald eyes were glassy and red. I kissed them both and she let out a stuttering sigh that had her shake in my hold. “Malik.”

My chest rose fast, each breath was harder to take the previous. I wanted something of hers, and I wanted to give her something of mine back, but she’d gone and gotten herself drunk.

“Say something,” she whispered.

“Your bony wrist is digging in my spleen.”

She blinked for a moment and then began shaking from laughter. She laughed so hard that the unshed tears that had clung to her eyes suddenly skittered down her cheeks.

“If you weren’t so breath-taking when you cry, I wouldn’t be so tempted to make you cry.”

“You said I look ugly when I cry.”

“Not when you cry for me. You should see how you look when you cry for me.”

Her eyes were fluttering shut, struggling to keep awake. “You’re a bad man, Malik.”

Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to her brow. I wanted to be all kinds of bad for her.

“Sing me a song,” she whispered, snuggling against me. “So I can sleep. I didn’t drink your fucking tea today.”

“Sweetheart, I would, but that would probably make you afraid to ever sleep again.”