Page 138 of Autumn Queens & Shadows

“Why would you need to speak to my wife?”

“She’s not your wife, Mal.”

“Is she not?” He turned to me. “Are you not, sweetheart?”

“It doesn’t matter to me what anyone else thinks you are to me or what I am to you, but me and you,” I said to him quietly. “He is a friend, and he was yours too, if I remember correctly. He can speak to me.”

“A friend, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Am I your friend, too?”

I knew my cheeks and ears had heated, but I pushed my chin up and said, “A few kisses won’t ruin our friendship, Malik.”

His jaw twitched. “Yeah? And what will? I can try harder.”

“And when you go,” I choked out. “What then? Will you go back to being my friend, will you become a stranger again, or what?” Exhaling a calming breath, I stepped back. Not sure why I had just said what I did. “Never mind.”

He pulled my chin up. “No. Me and you will talk about this after you have your little talk with your friend here,” he said, brushing a hand down my cheek and leaving.

“What is it, Neo?”

“I want to apologise—”

“Accepted.”

He stepped towards me and then very slowly stepped away again. “I thought me and you—” He sighed and rubbed a hand down his brow. “Perhaps not. But I want you to know that you meant and still mean a lot to me. When he leaves again, after he’s had his fun with you, I will be here, I want you to know that. And I will be waiting for you. I will always wait for you.”

What he said stung till my throat had swollen with frustration to the point I couldn’t even spit back a single word at him.

The need to disappear inside my own thoughts grew intense. To vanish entirely. To not think of the unknown future. To wait until it got away and left me be.

But I couldn’t. Not when he was still here.

He was in the middle of the training grounds, doing pull ups on a handstand, his upper half naked. Even under the thick tattoos, I could tell every muscle dent apart. He got to his feet, chest rising slowly despite the strain of the exercise.

“What are you doing?” I asked, throwing a frown all around the soldiers who had gathered around to watch him do just that. They all turned on their heels and vacated the space until my steps to him echoed from the emptiness.

He slowly raised a brow. “My body has to get used to the cold and the thicker air; it slows me.”

“You didn’t look slow to me,” I said, swallowing as I raked a look over him.

He caught my hand and put it to his chest. “You want to touch me, touch me. You want to look at me, look at me.”

“Do you want that?”

He leaned in my ear. “Why do you think I put on that little show?” His hand slid down my neck, fingers massaging my skin. “I want you to lead, I want you to command this. If you need a little prompt, I don’t mind.”

“Why do you want me to lead? Perhaps I want you to.”

“Do you?”

“I don’t know.” I raised my eyes to him. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t think you made a mistake. Or that this was a bad idea.”