Page 156 of Autumn Queens & Shadows

I felt him before I saw him. Malik came inside Visha’s work room, wearing the same expression as Cai was.

Guilt.

It was so raw and soft in his amber eyes that I grew even more terrified. What could he have done to me that merited that look?

Before he could step to me, Cai slid before him and gave him a shove. “You could have just told her instead of forcing her in here. Isn’t that what your old man did? Throw you to the fucking waters to swim when you didn’t know how to?”

“Shut up,” Mal sneered, pushing him back.

“I’m taking her back,” Cai said, reaching to grab me.

“Take your fucking hands off her.”

Cai pulled away only to shout, “I made a damn promise to her brother!”

My feet couldn’t hold me upright anymore, and my body slid against the wall until I was crouching down.

The two were at each other’s throat, muttering words and threats I could no longer hear because of the noise in my ears, the old sounds and voices that had returned from that day.

A flash of the Isjordian military uniform caught my eye by the open doors. “Skadi?”

I got to my feet and followed after her, slipping past Cai and Mal.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” I called, quickly following after her. “Did Alaric call for you?”

Skadi stopped, keeping her back to me. “No, he didn’t.”

My mood soured. “Oh, so you must have come to see Visha. You haven't told me you’ve been ill again.” I pointed behind me. “You passed her work room.”

“I’m not ill anymore, Rora.”

“You aren’t?” I tried to smile, a little surprised. She’d been suffering with the effects of the turning soon after being cured for it. Skadi had been the first one to turn so Melanthe had not been as gentle with her as she’d been with the rest. My general had suffered and was still suffering more than anyone. But now she was suddenly telling me she didn’t anymore. “That’s good. That’s great.”

“But you are.”

My attempt at a smile withered down. “I-I am not. I’m actually quite a healthy one,” I added, forcing a grin on. “My magic will return. I’m sure. And if it doesn’t, oh well, not much loss there since I was already suppressing most of it.”

“Rora,” Mal called, pacing fast in my direction, his steps swallowing the distance between us in a second. He pulled me to his chest, pressing his face on the crook of my neck and breathing in a sigh of relief. “Hey, sweetheart.”

“Hey.”

“Who were you talking to?”

I pulled back just a little to turn to Skadi. But she was gone. Frowning, I searched the wide corridors. “Skadi was here just a moment ago.”

Oddly, Mal’s eyes rounded in a way they had never done before. Full of beseech and torture. He raised a hand to my face, swiping a thumb back and forth my cheek until I melted onto his touch. “She was not, Rora.”

I snorted. “Yes, she was. You just missed it. She’s never liked you anyway, so she probably made a run for it.”

“Rora—”

“Stop it,” I snapped for some reason, immediately feeling guilty for doing so.

He pulled me to him again. “Thora, listen to me.”

“Let’s go find her. Alright? She can tell you all about it,” I tried to joke as I pulled on his hand for him to follow me, but he was stuck in place.

I hated how his eyes softened at that moment, or how his touch on my cheek turned something more than intimate, or how gently he spoke to me as if he could break me when he’d always treated me as the most unbreakable thing he’d beheld, “Sweetheart, we can’t speak to her.”