Page 170 of Autumn Queens & Shadows

Just when I made to say that I missed him and that I needed him, too, I heard Iskyla shout at her younger sisters who were pulling at her to stop her bleeding fists from hitting the ground in defeat.

The four all backed away when I approached. Hooking my arm under Iskyla’s, I hoisted her to stand. “Enough with this tragic display, it’s so unlady like.”

“Finish me,” she snarled.

“I see no worth in your death. But how you live the rest of your life will make me the greatest queen this kingdom will ever have.”

She breathed hard, looking around her people who had now turned their backs to her to follow the rest of my people towards Isjord. “What will you do with me?”

“You will live the remainder of your days where your betrayal sent Skadi to live her last. Ulv Islet. I want you to scrub every lingering soul out of those rocks until they are so clean the ice below will shine through.”

Her jaw set tightly, and she gritted out, “I’m worth more to you dead.”

“You’re worth nothing to me.”

Elias clasped shackles on Iskyla and pulled her with no resistance at all. The fight and war in her had been doused.

“You’re free to join me,” I said to her sisters.

“We want exile,” the eldest of the four said.

“Then have it. I’m not one to beg for you to change your mind so I’m glad you have yours set, sweet cousins.”

After my court and the new members I'd welcomed ended their greetings and congratulations, I turned to him again, to my king still quietly waiting for me even though I’d told him to go. There were scratches all over his face, neck and hands that I had not noticed before. Blood splattered here and there on his chest.

“Where are you bleeding from?”

“Somewhere,” he said, watching my search for his wound. When I made to pull away from him, he grabbed my hand and put it to his chest. “There.”

This was going to be so hard. Harder than the first time. “I want to thank—”

“Nothing to thank me for, Rora,” he said, interrupting me.

I shook my head. “I’ve got a lot to thank you for, Mal.”

Not even a second later, I was pulled in his arms, in my sweet cage, the one I never wanted to leave. “I should be the one thanking you. You saved me in so many ways I didn’t know I needed to be saved.”

“You saved me, too.”

“Forgive me.”

Pulling back from his hold, I said, “No. I can’t forgive you. Because if I forgive you, I can’t save you one last time,” I murmured, still not daring to look at him to say what I had decided to say instead of what I desperately wanted him to hear. I love you. “You’re free, Mal.”

His hands around my waist came just a little loose.

“I don’t need you anymore and you do not need me,” I continued. “Isn’t this what we’ve wanted all this time? You’re free. I don’t forgive you. I never will.” Stepping away from his hold entirely, I looked up at him, trying to hold my smile strong. “There is nothing holding onto you anymore, so go and be free. Live, Mal. How you have always wanted to.” I smiled up at him despite the tears stinging my eyes. “Go and be a baker.”

“Thora—”

“Don’t say anything, please. I don’t want to take back what I just said. I love you too much to be that selfish.”

His face fell, twisting with a cry when he called my name, “Thora—”

“Please don’t say anything, please,” I begged, finally forcing myself to move further away from him and reaching for my necklace.

His hands wrapped around mine, pulling them from the necklace, his brow rested against mine. “No. Keep me there. Half of my soul has always been yours. Even before I wrapped it around your neck.”

I felt tears rush down my face as I looked at the amber stone.