Page 23 of Autumn Queens & Shadows

“When it comes to my people, the only one who can put that fear to rest is the White Veil itself.”

“I’m afraid it doesn’t take appearance requests.”

She narrowed her eyes on me over her teacup as she took a sip. “I’m sure you could arrange something with it, since you two are so closely knit together.”

Giving her a smile, I said, “I will see what I can do.”

Moriko cocked her head back, observing me under her straight dark lashes. “Why don’t you show this kingdom the woman who killed the kingdom slayer? Five years is a long time to drag this out for. Why leave it in the hands of such an…untrusted figure to deal with Iskyla. Give her the woman who fought Silas Krigborn alone and took his life one hundred times.”

It was like time had stood still since that very exact day ten years ago. I could suddenly remember every noise around me, the taste of smoke in the air, the reek of rotting bodies leaving graveyards at Malik’s command, the exact smell of my father’s blood, the exact warmth of it. “She died in this very garden ten years ago. I do not raise the dead.”

“No,” she said, glancing behind me. “But someone else does.”

I set my teacup down and looked over my shoulder where her attention had just fallen. Nia and Malik were deep in conversation, she scowled and he laughed. It was so easy for him to pretend nothing had changed, to pretend as if he had never even left.

“Use him well.”

I swallowed, trying not to let myself spin into the abyss of memory that I thought I’d successfully banished. “I will do no such thing.”

She leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. “Too proud?”

“Too much self-respect.”

“It’s been five years now, Thora.”

“And I’m sure there will be five more without his help. I promised to ever use only one man for help. And that will be the one I will strap on the throne next to mine and spoon feed him orders like a good boy.” I reached for the teapot. “More tea?”

She glanced at my shaking hands holding the teapot and making the lid rattle. “I trust you, Thora. More than I usually deign someone of any of my trust, especially a Krigborn. But Iskyla has gone too far because you have let her. End this before it gets worse. Because it will. I do not know what your reasons for holding back are, and though I still respect them, I urge you to put them aside.”

My reasons.

The reasons buried in this very garden.

My head buzzed yet it was the quietest it had ever felt.

A hand fell over my own and my body slowly began locking. Pale. Scars on top. Moriko’s. It was Moriko’s hand. Only Moriko’s. “Thora?” Her voice felt distant, as if she were miles away from me.

It was only Moriko’s hand.

Only Moriko’s.

My vision tunnelled, every muscle in my body cramped all at once and my jaw locked tightly, a dull and pounding ache pulsed all over my stiff limbs. It could have been seconds, barely any of that, maybe minutes or hours when someone grabbed hold of me by the shoulders, the same hands began kneading down my body, loosening each muscle one after the other until they somehow began unlocking, melting away from the painful stiffness.

“Welcome back,” Malik boredly said, his hands still massaging through my body and down my legs.

I pushed his hands away and stood, trying to put distance between him and I. “Where is Moriko?”

He wasn’t looking at me when he said, “Left about an hour ago.”

“A-an hour ago?”

I might have flinched when he looked up at me as if I were some injured doe needing to be put down. “Yes, an hour.”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Since when have you started doing that again?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, spinning on my heels and heading towards the castle. My chest fell quickly, and I was struggling to catch my breaths. Yes, since when was I doing that again?