Page 36 of Autumn Queens & Shadows

Sickness rose to my throat at the remembrance of that day. He’d told me so much that day. So many words I hated to hear from his lips.

“Thora,” he shouted, panicked as his eyes paced between mine. “What night?”

Pursing my lips tightly, I looked away, hating how my tears had remained tears after ten long years. Hating how they had never turned to rage. Hating how they still made everyone think of them as my weakness when they weren’t. Not really. My tears kept me human. I would never apologise for them.

“Fuck,” he muttered, reaching to wipe my eyes. “Fuck,” he shouted again, standing. “Fuck!”

Then he was gone.

Skadi entered just as he left, probably having heard the noise. She handed me a tissue. “How many times do I have to tell you that you’re too pretty of a girl to cry.”

Why did everyone take issue with my tears? Ugly. Pretty. Didn’t I have the right to cry regardless of how I looked? “Did you know that pretty translates as easy to love in Calgnan?” I said, bending down to pick up the glass pieces on the ground. “I’ve been called that since I was little. How come everyone finds it so hard to love me then? How am I so hard to love?” A shard pierced the tip of my finger and I watched a droplet of blood mix with the spilled liquor. “No one even tries. Everyone takes the easy way out and leaves.” Wiping my finger on a piece of cloth, I stood and called out to my guards. “Send word for Neo.”

“Now you’re taking the easy way out.”

“Can I be blamed?”

“Don’t do it,” she said. “Not this time. Don’t do it anymore. You don’t need Neo’s help anymore, Thora.”

Truth was that I did.

Chapter nine

Orange Aconites

Malik

Cai was the first face I saw properly as I pushed past the Myrdur castle corridors. “Disappointed it took you so long after coming back to come see me. That hurt my feelings.”

“What feelings exactly, you emotionless bastard.”

He chuckled. “We are starting strong. Where are my kisses and hugs?”

“Out of my way, honey bun. I’ll give you all my love in a minute.”

He put a hand to my shoulder, stopping me. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to see Visha.”

He frowned, looking behind me as if he was expecting someone else with me. “Doubt she’d be interested.”

“Neither am I.”

“Thora not with you?”

“Why, miss her?”

“Yeah.”

I pointed at him. “You’ll tell me all about that when I’m done with the witch.”

He followed after me. “If you go into her room now, you’ll be done by the witch.”

“Better by her hand than Thora’s. She won’t fucking speak to me and I’m losing my mind.”

Both his brows flew up and he blinked like the dickhead he was. “Oh, we are saying things out loud now?”

“Shut up.”