Page 41 of Autumn Queens & Shadows

Even in hell, my father won.

I’d learnt the depths of agony. Perfected pain in all its ways. Without even being chained or beaten.

“Are you just going to stand over there and watch me like a creep?” she asked, her voice sleepy and soft.

And that pain got softer, just a little gentler. I had no idea how she always knew of my presence even if she couldn’t see me, but I liked it. “Would you prefer it if I did it from up-close?”

She pushed herself up on an elbow. “Much.”

I dropped my head back on the stone wall, savouring the forbidding taste of desire that I’d lately not found a way to numb anymore. Staying away was no help at all. It only made me crave it harder. “Careful, Thora.”

“Of what, Malik? What should I be careful of?”

Me.

There was very little holding me back. And it was all her fault.

Mine, too, for having eyes.

Laying down, she pulled the sheet over all of her body, and said, “Wake me up when you figure it out.”

Through the thick darkness she struggled to see, I saw everything. From the look in her eyes, her rapidly falling chest, the sheen of sweat on her brow, to her fingers clutching and unclutching the bed sheets. There was no need to read her, she was in pain like I was. But her pain was stunning. I’d never seen pain in colours like hers.

“Aren’t you warm?” I asked, rather than commit to the urge to go there myself and pull it off her.

“Would rather sweat than make you sweat. We both know you’ll stop speaking to me for a few days if things get funny between me and you.”

“Why would they get funny?” I asked, raising the drink to my lips and taking a bitter sip even though it was mostly water now that the ice had melted.

“Because you also want to touch what you see.”

Chugging the rest of it back, I let the burn in my throat also burn away the words I truly wanted to say. “Bold assumption.”

A yawn made her smile disappear. “I love how it bothers you that I can tell you what I want because you can’t.”

“More bold assumptions.”

“You will give up this secret at some point, I’m sure of it. I have all of them. You’ll give me this one, too.”

“What makes you think so?”

“Because I want it. And you give me what I want.”

“I do?”

“In time, I’m sure you will.”

“You read the future now?”

“I’m writing it, Malik.”

Finally, I lowered my glass on a table and walked to her bed, shedding my jacket before laying next to her. “You want to write history, little bird?”

After lighting a candle, she rolled on her side to face me. “Why, you want to help?”

“Depends. What do you want to write? Tragedy? I’m good with that.”

Her mouth parted just slightly, and she tugged on her bottom lip as her eyes roamed all over my face. “You stink of alcohol.”