Page 25 of Seeing Harper

“Fair enough. First, let me just say a few things that while they are apparently obvious, they bear repeating.”

“Okay.”

“I am your mate. I recognized the fact that we are mates the last time I was home, not this most recent trip, but the one before that. It really freaked me out.”

“Because I’m so young.”

“Well, yeah, partially. And then there was the fact that I was sure your father would kill me if he knew, and the fact that it came out of nowhere with no previous indication despite us having always been around each other.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For the age thing. I know it can’t be easy to know that your mate is a kid you’ve watched grow up in your own Pride.”

“That’s one of the things we need to talk about. I have no issue with our age difference. A lot of couples have age differences. My only concern is that we figured this out now instead of a few years from now. You’re still in high school. You’re only sixteen. You have so much life and growing ahead of you and I don’t want to take that from you. You deserve to have fun and find yourself, and do all the things that everybody does as they come into their own. It’s the whole reason I left. Do you understand?”

“You left because you’re trying to avoid me for now because you think I’m too young to know what I want.”

“Honey, no,” he said, laughing wryly. “I left because I didn’t want to take any of your future from you. You deserve the chance to live your life and figure out what you want, because you want it, not because some instinct tells you that you have to accept it. And I left because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could control myself when I was repeatedly so near you. I left because when you are finally ready to face this thing, I want it to be because you want me. Not because I colored your options or opinions by making myself a part of your life before you were even ready to live it. And it’s only you that can tell me when it is that you’ll be ready. Or if it even is still a possibility after you've finished with school or whatever it is you want to do until you’re ready to settle down.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that before you left?”

“I didn’t think that you’d recognized me as your mate yet and there was no reason to let you know if you hadn’t felt it. I was trying to keep you from experiencing the pain of being separated. I left to protect you, not to hurt you. I never wanted you to feel what I felt when I left here.”

She was quiet for a moment. “I felt it. It was devastating.”

Kaiser closed his eyes and gripped his phone tighter. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t give you enough credit, I should have known you’d already figured it out.”

“I had suspicions. I didn’t know for sure until I saw you on TV for the fundraiser the other night. After that, I had no doubt. I put two and two together and realized the pain I’d felt was probably you leaving. I didn’t know it at the time, but I just felt so much pain, so much loneliness that I couldn’t explain. But it was so desolate, so devastating that I sent an embrace, some encouragement back to where the pain came from.”

“And then you said it would be okay, didn’t you?”

“Yes! How did you know that?” Keegan asked.

“I heard your voice whisper the words. I was about to lose my mind as I drove away, but then I felt a sudden surge of calming energy, and I heard your voice whisper that it would be okay. I almost drove off the damn road trying to figure out where the voice came from,” he confessed.

Keegan laughed.

“I’m sorry for all this. I was trying to do the right thing. But in retrospect, how arrogant was I to not give you a chance to make your own wishes known.”

“You treated me like a kid.”

“That wasn’t my intention. I was in protector mode and not thinking past my own nose.”

Keegan chuckled. “You sure it was your nose?”

Kaiser laughed, truly laughed for the first time in a while.

“Keegan!” Anahla scolded from just the other side of the window Keegan sat outside of. She moved closer to the window and lightly hit the pane to startle her mother and let her know she didn’t appreciate her listening to her conversation.

“Sorry,” Keegan said to Kaiser. “Couldn’t help it. It just came out.”

“Do not ever apologize for speaking your mind around me. I love that you’re comfortable enough to be yourself instead of feeling like you have to watch what you say.”

“Thank you.”

Kaiser sighed as he collected his thoughts. “Okay, so, now what?”