Page 84 of This Marquess of Mine

“That is not an answer.” Her aunt reached a hand out to still her fingers’ movements and Olivia met her gaze.

“You’re not a little girl anymore,” Aunt Augusta said, her voice kind but firm. “You are a woman grown, and you’ve just been given something all women should have. You’ve been given the chance to choose the life you want to live. So...what do you want?”

“I want children. I want a family of my own.”

Her aunt nodded. “And do you want those things with the duke?”

No,she thought. I want them with Griffin.

But she said nothing.

Her aunt sighed again. “You have a choice now, Olivia. You can become a duchess and give the world the next Duke of Paxton. Or you can leave the duke behind and find someone else to marry. Someone you genuinely want to marry.”

“And if he does not wish to marry me?” she whispered, her voice wavering.

“Then you will spend the rest of your life surrounded by your friends and family. People who love you.” Aunt Augusta smiled. “You are not alone, Olivia. You have me, and your cousin, and Emmy, and Lady Keswick. And you even your father now, it seems.”

Olivia nodded and bit her lip.

“I’ll not try to sway your decision,” Aunt Augusta said. “You already know my opinion. I only want to say this: Think of yourself. Think of what will make you happy and choose that.”

Olivia gave her aunt a smile, hoping to reassure her, but her lips felt as unsteady as her mind. She knew Aunt Augusta’s advice was sound and she wanted nothing more than to follow it, only…

What if the thing that would make her happiest was the one thing she could not have?

Olivia woke the next morning after a fitful night’s sleep. She’d tossed and turned well into the night, her mind spinning and churning, considering and reconsidering until she thought she would go mad with it.

Even now, hours later, as she strolled up Half Moon Street with Paxton at her side and her chaperoning aunt behind them, she was no closer to making a decision.

Truth be told, she had no idea what she would do.

It was a lovely day for a walk, sunny and warm with only the slightest breeze, and she let her gaze wander over her surroundings—the rows of elegant townhouses, the bustle of horses and carriages passing by on the street—though she barely saw any of it.

You could return to Surrey with me. I would welcome the chance to get to know my daughter better.

She worried her lower lip between her teeth, her father’s words echoing through her mind for the hundredth time today. How could she refuse such an offer? How could she deny herself this chance to know him better? To start anew?

But what of your promise to Paxton?

Her heart gave a guilty twist, and she stole a glance at her betrothed, so dapper today in his light green morning suit, his auburn hair flicking in the breeze beneath his beaver hat.

She’d rejected this man once before already. How could she sever their betrothal now? How could she refuse him a second time, after she’d worked so hard to earn his trust again? After he hadworked so hard to convince his mother it was safe to?

She couldn’t.

Or could she?

Oh, she was so confused!

“Olivia?”

Paxton’s quiet voice drew her gaze and she found him watching her, as if awaiting her reply to a question she hadn’t heard him ask.

“Apologies,” she said, her smile sheepish. “I was woolgathering.”

“You’ve been doing a lot of that this afternoon,” he said without a hint of rancor. “Is something troubling you?”

She hadn’t told him yet of her father’s visit. She dipped her chin, eyeing her cream-colored half-boots as she considered what to say. “My father is in Town,” she said. “And he paid me a visit yesterday. I never told you this, but earlier in the year, before the Season began, he gave me an ultimatum…”