Page 91 of This Marquess of Mine

“Do you even want to get married?” Sophie asked, her tone curious.

“I think so,” she said. “I like the idea of having a family of my own one day.” She pursed her lips. “Of course, now that I’ve been given the chance to marry at my leisure, it seems a waste to marry for any reason other than love, but—” She broke off with a shake of her head, bitterness twisting her heart.

“But you’re still in love with Griffin,” Emmy finished for her, ever astute.

Olivia’s gaze dropped to the quilted counterpane, and she nodded. “I don’t know if I will ever stop loving him,” she whispered, tracing a finger along the criss-crossed stitching. “And if I can’t stop loving him, how can I fall in love with someone else? Someone who will love me in return?”

“You don’t know that Griffin doesn’t love you,” Sophie said. “He obviously cares for you. We can all see it, can’t we, Em?”

“We can,” Emmy said.

Olivia thought of the look in Griffin’s eyes, the tenderness she thought she’d seen there just hours ago, and her heart longed to believe it. But eyes can lie, can’t they? And tenderness isn’t love.

“He will come around, Livvy,” Sophie said. “He only needs a little more time to—”

“No,” Olivia broke in, her voice firm as her head came up. “No. He’s had more than enough time already, and I don’t want to marry a man who has to come around. If he loved me—truly loved me—would he not tell me so? Would he not make his feelings known?”

“Perhaps he already has,” Sophie said, her voice soft.

Olivia’s brows dipped. “What do you mean?”

“He went to your father, Livvy. I can’t think of a more romantic gesture than ensuring your future was your own to decide. Can you?”

Olivia shook her head. “But he asked my father to keep it a secret. If it truly was a romantic gesture, wouldn’t he want me to know about it?”

“Not necessarily,” Sophie said. “Perhaps he—”

“No, Livvy’s right,” Emmy broke in. “I don’t think it was a gesture.”

“What?” Sophie’s brows drew together. “Of course it was.”

Emmy shook her head as Olivia’s eyes darted back and forth between them.

“My brother is the most stubborn person I know,” Emmy said. “And he can be astoundingly dense when he chooses to be. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves you, Livvy. His actions more than prove it.” She sighed. “Unfortunately, he isn’t ready to admit it yet.”

Olivia swallowed, her heart giving a foolish little leap. “Why—why are you so certain he loves me?”

“Because he went to see your father with no expectation of a reward, other than seeing you happy,” Emmy said, her gray eyes as frank as her words. “I think he wished to keep his visit a secret because he wanted you to believe your father had a change of heart all on his own. After all, would that not have made you even happier than you are now?”

Olivia had no answer for that question, but she thought of little else for the rest of the night as she lay in bed, trying to sleep, her mind a jumbled mass of confused thoughts.

Were Sophie and Emmy right? Was Griffin truly in love with her? Her friends seemed so certain of it and, although the notion sent a shiver of pleasure up her spine, she could not bring herself to believe it. Not wholly.

She’d meant what she said before. She was through with wondering and waiting. He’d had more than enough time to claim her hand and he hadn’t.

She could not be certain what her future held, but she liked the turn her life had taken these last few weeks, all the changes forged, and strides made. There was more healing to be done, but for the first time in what seemed like forever she was finally beginning to like herself, faults and all.

When she married—if she married—it would be to a man who appreciated those things about her, too. A man who married her because of her flaws, not in spite of them.

She deserved a love like that—every woman did—and she would not settle for anything less. Not anymore.