Page 40 of The Pleasure in Persuasion

“I’m very well, thank you,” she replied, stacking her hands atop the broomstick. “And how are you?”

He pressed his lips together, though his eyes were twinkling. “Not so good, I’m afraid. A beautiful, fascinating woman kept me up late last night, and I slept barely a wink for thinking about her.”

Delight bloomed throughout Lily’s body, but she tamped it down and gave her head a sorrowful shake. “I am very sorry to hear that,” she said, though of course she wasn’t sorry at all.

Frederick gave her a lopsided smile. “Yes, I can see you feel dreadful about it.”

“Oh, I do,” she said, nearly overwhelmed by the sudden desire to kiss that smile, and anything else her lips could reach. She cleared her throat. “I thought today you could see to some repairs in the barn, if that is amenable to you.”

“Repairs?” His brow crinkled.

“Nothing too complicated,” she assured him. “A broken fence and damaged shutters. Come, I'll show you.”

After propping the broom up beside the door, she led him to the barn, and as they walked inside, Blythe let out a long low from her pen and bobbed her head in excitement.

“Someone is certainly happy to see you,” Lily said to Frederick, who was all smiles as he walked up to greet the happy cow.

Lily followed, watching him while he crooned to Blythe, and gave her head a good scratch over the gate. Her belly fluttered as she studied his profile. He was a handsome man, an unequivocal pleasure to look at, but he was so much more than just his good looks. He was kind and warm, gentle and compassionate.

Yet, he did not see it. How was that so? How could such a man, who brought so much to the world, believe he did not deserve to be in it?

How could he believe his brother should be here on this earth instead of him?

Lily’s heart thudded painfully, her chest aching with the desire to wrap her arms around him tight and hold on until he understood what he meant to her. What it would mean if she lost him.

“Lily, I—” Frederick turned to look at her, his words stalling when his gaze found hers. “Is something the matter?” he asked, turning to face her, his brow knitting.

Lily shook her head. “No. Nothing.” She swallowed, clutching her skirts between her fingers, the urge to leap into his arms and kiss him nearly overwhelming her. “I’m perfectly well.”

She was perfectly besotted, and the thought, the feeling, sent embarrassed heat spreading through her limbs.

For pity’s sake, Lily. Have some pride.

“I do have a lot of work to do, though,” she said, taking a step backward, “so I really must leave you now. You will find the tools you need for the repairs just over there”—she pointed to the table in the corner—“and if you need anything else, I will be working in the garden.”

She turned to leave—flee, really—but the brush of his hand, his fingers tangling with hers, froze her in her tracks.

“Don’t go,” he said softly, giving her hand a gentle tug. “Not just yet.”

“But I have so much to do…” The protest was weak, even to her own ears, and her resolve faltered further at the gentle pleading in his cobalt eyes.

“I know,” he said, grasping both her hands in his. “But I need to speak with you alone, and this might be my only chance today.”

“Speak to me about what?” she asked warily.

“About last night.”

Oh. Lily swallowed. What could he wish to discuss about last night? Would he apologize for kissing her, or for the things he’d said to her? Did he intend to take them back?

“I’m sorry, Lily,” he said, and her heart clenched. “I’m sorry for leaving like I did. It was not—” He paused, his forehead creasing. “I want you to know that it was nothing you did.”

Relief was swift, although the words were not what she’d expected to hear. “You’ve been trying to respect your sister’s wishes. I understand.”

He nodded, and the smile he offered was slightly abashed. “I’ve been trying to keep away from you because that’s what Penelope wants me to do, but it isn’t what I want, Lily. And I don’t think it’s what you want, either.” He gave her a searching look. “Is it?”

He had to know it wasn’t. After last night, after she’d kissed him and practically begged him not to stop, he had to know her feelings.

Still, he seemed to want her answer. She shook her head. “No. It isn’t.”