Page 48 of Novice Girlfriend

“The women don’t have that, and I’m not sure the men would depending on how long it lasts,” I mumbled.

Winter snorted. “Even if it’s a day, I would.” He nodded. “To talk to Teddy? Yeah, Bev. I’d give one for that. Twenty-four hours to talk to him for real? About everything we’ve been through and hear him for real? One nut? Take it.” He did a double take and winced, reaching for my face and wiping my cheek. “Sorry.”

I sniffled and looked down as I saw the tear on his thumb. “Now you get it.”

“Yeah, that’s… They’re really fucking with you. Gift, my ass.”

I snorted and then finally said what had been weighing on me. “Nina really scared me.”

“I know.”

“I’m scared that’s in Sergey too.”

“That’s fair.”

I looked at him. “Is it?”

He let out a heavy breath and rubbed my hands. “Yeah, because it is in him. It’s in all of us. It’s in me.” He nodded when I flinched. “It’s in you too, Bev. Maybe buried deep down, but there’s something that could make you turn dark like that. Not on someone who didn’t deserve it, but in that moment, Nina didn’t see you as Bev. She saw you as the enemy.”

I swallowed loudly and looked back down at our hands. “Like I started to see Link when—after what happened with Conrad Hanson. Worried he could be. Yeah, trauma does that.”

“Yeah.”

He pulled me closer and kissed my hair. “I’m not going to lie that I don’t want one of those apples, but I’m glad you and Derek put them in a time-out.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, absolutely. We’ve got piles of shit all over and they can wait. Really, they can, Bev.” He kissed my temple this time. “You give me—all of us so much just by telling us what they say and people are already being so selfish with you. Leave it alone for now. Use the ones you took to recharge you.”

“That’s me being selfish then.”

“Naw, not when you do so much for everyone else. It’s really not.” He let out another heavy breath. “I know what it’s like to never really get sleep. Always one eye open and never feel truly safe. It took me years to finally feel like I caught up on my… Sleep debt, I think they call it? Whatever it is, and I’m not sure I did with how hard school is. Sometimes I wonder if you can.”

“I wonder if the apples can give you that too if that’s what you’d need?” I muttered. “Maybe it’s more—”

“Nope, leave it alone, little sexy,” he chuckled and made us stand. “Today is about the fun.”

“It’s about the fun,” I agreed.

“I’m cute. Tell me I’m cute. More, more,” someone yelled, and I smothered a laugh in his chest.

“You are so, so cute,” I told the otter begging for attention. “The cutest there ever was. Clap for me, cutie.” I froze and so did everyone around us when he did.

“Wow, do they train these guys?” Winter asked as he joined me. “That’s wild! That’s gotta be a command? Clap cutie?”

“I guess,” I chuckled awkwardly as several other people did, but the otter just kept doing it and begging for more attention. “Or just good timing it seems.”

People laughed it off, but Winter guided me away, both of us smothering our reactions. Then I almost died when some of the puffins were calling the otter an “attention whore.” I told Winter and he leaned in closer.

“They’re not wrong.”

Yeah, I died.

The sea stars were exactly like in Finding Nemo. Not in what was said, but that they were mumbled when they were pressed against the glass. I told Winter that and he said we had to watch the movie that night while eating sushi and I died all over again. He was so funny.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when we stopped at another viewing area.

“The octopus is very flirty,” I mumbled.