Page 24 of On Your Knees

His eyes jump to mine. “You don’t have to be.”

“Yes, I do. You’re not ready for me.” His eyes drop, but they pop up again when I add, “But you will be. You’re a masochist. I don’t know if you realize that about yourself, but to me, it’s obvious. You need intensity, and you’ve never had it.”

His eyes are now as riveted on my face as they were on my caged cock. He wants this, and he’s ready, finally, to understand what this actually is.

“What I want, Levi, is your experience. That’s what I want to capture. There’s an innocence to you now, but there’s darkness underneath it. I can see it. I can feel it—and I’m going to draw it out of you.”

His lips have parted. He’s not frightened, not at all. He looks, in fact, relieved.

A smile creeps across my lips. “You know it, don’t you?”

Something in him closes, and he looks away from me. It’s automatic, I can see that. It’s something he’s used to hiding. I take hold of his jaw and make him look at me again.

“You don’t need to hide your darkness. That part of you is safe with me, Levi. It’s the rest of you that’s not.”

He stares at me, unblinking, still unafraid. It’s strange because he seems so soft, so uncertain, but the more force I exert, the stronger he proves himself to be.

I think he’s been neglected. Maybe abandoned. I think it happened young. I think that’s why he’s so numb, why he’s never been sexual. He doesn’t know how to be with people. He doesn’t understand intimacy. But he wants it. He fucking needs it.

And since God didn’t give it to him, the Devil will.

“Get your shit,” I tell him. “You’re mine now, and you’re coming home with me.”

NINE

Levi

I don’t really understand what’s happening. All I know is that I’m walking into Ethan’s penthouse for the third time, and this time he’s with me. Behind me actually, right behind me, carrying my backpack and jacket, like I’m not allowed to turn back.

I think that’s why my cock is hard, but I’m not sure. I can’t think right now. My thoughts won’t pull together, and my body doesn’t feel like my own.

Ethan hasn’t spoken to me since we left my apartment, but his silence is different now compared to earlier. He’s calm. He seemed calm before, but he wasn’t. He was controlled but not calm. He was furious. Because I wanted to leave?

Maybe. That certainly made it worse, but it started before that. It started when he was… sucking me.

My body heats at the memory, but it’s only physical. My brain can’t grasp it right now.

Ethan guides me through the foyer and into the kitchen. He pulls out one of the high-top chairs and waits, watching me. It’s strange because he’s done this kind of thing from the start, so in a way nothing has changed, and yet… everything has.

When I climb into the chair, my stiff cock gets torqued in my jeans, and I make a sound that doesn’t sound like me. But Ethan makes a sound too, a soft hum like I’m doing the right thing. Then he walks off, moving down the hallway with my things. He opens a door and goes inside, returning a moment later empty handed.

You’re mine now, and you’re coming home with me.

That’s what he said. I don’t really know what that means, but it doesn’t seem very important at the moment. I can’t think beyond what’s happening to my body.

Ethan comes back to me, standing behind my chair. I close my eyes because it’s so much like my dream. But he doesn’t choke me. I’m not collared. He does, however, reach around me and pop the button of my jeans. As he glides my zipper down, I gasp at the pressure against my cock. Then he tugs down the elastic of my briefs and secures it under my balls, making my cock stand upright.

He leaves me like that, exposed, and walks around the island into the kitchen.

I stare down at myself, cock jutting up from the opening of my pants. Is this really me?

My hand drifts toward my dick. I don’t know if I intend to stroke myself or cover myself, but in either case, Ethan stops me with a simple command.

“Don’t touch it.”

My eyes jump to him. He’s watching me with an intensity that makes me shiver. He wants me like this. I’m doing the right thing. My body is anyway. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything. It’s just happening on its own.

It was like this earlier too, when I got hard during the session. When Ethan sucked me.