Page 35 of On Your Knees

I massage his balls where I thumped him. “I believe you,” I reassure him. I won’t punish him for not knowing something, only for withholding. I ask, “When you started getting hard yesterday during our session, what were you thinking about?”

He bites his lip, and I don’t need to see his eyes to know that he doesn’t want to tell me—which means there’s an answer. A specific one.

I hold the tip of the dildo against his hole while I grab a knife. I trail the back of it up his torso. He flinches away from it, but there’s nowhere for him to go. I trace around his nipple, letting him feel the sharpness of the tip.

He murmurs, “Oh my God.”

“I told you you’re not safe with me. Now answer my question: what were you thinking about when you got hard?”

“A dream. From the night before.”

“A dream about what?”

“You.”

That stalls me. It delights me. “What kind of dream?” I think I can guess, but he needs to say it.

“A… um…”

When he gets stuck, I scrape him with the knife, enough that he’ll think it’s a cut.

He yelps and shouts, “A sex dream!”

I massage his chest where I’ve been scraping him, all the while keeping the dildo pressed against his hole.

“And what was I doing in this dream?” I ask.

“Choking me.”

“Interesting. Just that?”

“And… touching me.”

“Touching you where?”

“My…”

“Say it, Levi.”

“My cock.”

“But not here?” I ask, prodding his hole with the dildo. When he shakes his head, I ask, “Why not?”

“I-I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t know it would feel good?” I ask as I push the dildo in an inch.

“Yes!” he gasps, clenching then relaxing. I push it in a little more.

“Because you didn’t know you were gay?”

“I didn’t know anything.”

“Oh, baby. You’ve been so lonely, haven’t you?”

He takes a few, harsh little breaths then whispers in a raw, broken voice, “Yes.”

I lean into him, smashing the flat of the knife between us, as I push the dildo all the way inside. I feel his chest heaving under mine. I feel his breath puffing hotly against my neck. I feel his dick kicking against my abdomen. My own dick throbs in the cage.