Page 41 of On Your Knees

After the shower, he dries my hair. It’s a strange thing to watch, standing in front of the huge mirror in his huge, fancy bathroom, both of us with white towels around our waists. I can’t comprehend it, the sight of him brushing and drying my hair. My thoughts go away. If he would spank me, pinch me, fuck me, my thoughts might come back. But he just dries my hair then ushers me out to the bedroom.

He makes me sit on the bed. He says something, but I don’t hear it, then he leaves me there, walking to the door. I stare at the red lines on his back, seeing them for the first time. I feel the image go into my brain, but that’s all it does. No thoughts form around it.

Then he’s gone, and my heart starts thumping. I feel it, and I feel myself stand up, but I’m disconnected from the action. Even when I hear a strange whine that I know I’m making, I feel removed from it.

I’m at the door when he comes back. He frowns at me.

“I told you I was coming back.”

I just stare at him. For a second, I wonder if he’s real. I reach out and touch his chest and find warm skin and firm muscle. He watches me, confused but not angry, so I step closer. I rub his nipple and watch it harden, then I put my mouth on it and suck.

He jerks in surprise. He starts to pull away, but I latch onto him. I nuzzle at his chest and suck on his nipple.

“Fuck,” he mutters as a shudder goes through his body. He tugs me closer, arching slightly, pushing against my mouth.

I switch to his other nipple, whining as I suckle. He’s breathing hard now, and his dick is pressing against me through the cloth of both towels. As I lick and suck and nuzzle him, I feel a strange, painful, unclear emotion expand inside me then dissolve. I sigh in relief and lean against him, resting.

Ethan’s cock is rock hard. I’m hard too, and I half expect him to fuck me again, but he doesn’t. He helps me into the sweats and T-shirt that he brought from my room. He gets me into the bed. His bed. He doesn’t get in with me, but he doesn’t leave either.

I listen as he goes into the bathroom and dries his hair. I watch as he emerges, fully naked and still erect. It’s my first full, clear look at his hard cock. It’s huge and thick, jutting out harshly from his body. It bobs heavily as he walks to the closet. The flared head is dark and engorged. My mouth waters. My own cock throbs. I grind it against the bed, clenching my sore hole.

Ethan vanishes into the closet and emerges a minute later in black sweats and a black T-shirt. He’s still hard, but he doesn’t come over to me. He sits at a table and opens a laptop.

When I whine, he looks over at me and says, “You need to rest. You’ve had enough.”

He turns his attention to the computer. I watch him. At first, I feel upset, but I start to relax. I realize how tired I am. I close my eyes and listen to him typing until I drift away.

THIRTEEN

Ethan

Levi sleeps a lot of the day. I know I wore him out and broke him down, but I think his long sleep is coming from more than that. I think there’s a deep, deep exhaustion in him.

His sleep is tugging at me, like maybe I could rest too, but I don’t. It’s enough to see him doing it. Besides, I have work to do. I have to deal with the message that I got a few hours ago.

I’m not going to reply, but I do need to find out everything I can about Daniel Jensen. I dig up a few articles he’s written, and what scares me is that none of them are significant. That means he’s hungry. He wants a big, juicy story—and he thinks he’s found one.

When I first got his message “inviting” me to talk about the High Castle Church and my absence from it, an awful, sickening suspicion rose up inside me. I squashed it quickly. There’s nothing Levi knows that he could have shared. There’s nothing anyone knows who would be likely to talk.

Besides, Jensen isn’t the first journalist to come sniffing around. He’ll end up with some story about the hypocrisy of a wealthy megachurch. What people on the outside don’t understand is that the wealth of the church is half its appeal for the congregation. It’s a promise that the righteous path is a prosperous one.

Nothing will come of another article shining a light on the gilded face of the church.

But I still have to be prepared.

When I finally close the computer, I find Levi watching me from the bed. I get up and walk over to him. I hold out my hand. He sits up and takes it as he climbs out of bed. I lead him out of the room and down the hallway to the living room, where I direct him to sit on the couch. He draws his knees up, leaning against the arm of the couch. I leave him there and go back to the guestroom to grab his book. When I bring it to him, he takes it and puts it in his lap.

I’m a little worried about how quiet he is, but I guess I’m quiet too. I pet his hair and feel a warm, soft emotion move through me when his eyes close. Some of the tension from the last few hours of research melts away.

I go into the kitchen and put together a charcuterie board and some steak sandwiches, then I make a couple of gin and tonics. Levi watches me the whole time, but I’m not sure how focused he is.

I bring everything over on a big tray and set it on the coffee table, then I sit next to him. He shifts to face me.

I pick up the sweeter of the two gin and tonics. “Do you want to try it?”

“Okay.”

I hand it to him. As he sips, a little bit of life comes back into his eyes.