Page 88 of On Your Knees

He doesn’t say anything, and yet he does. He says, without words, I love you. He says, without words, I’m here.

When I finally relax, Levi draws back a little. Not enough to look at me, just enough to press his cheek against my head. He combs his fingers through my hair.

When my phone buzzes with a text alert, Levi leans back and looks over his shoulder.

“Is it Patrick?” I ask.

“It says Jensen.”

“Ah fuck.”

Levi’s fingers play with my hair again. “What is it? Please tell me.”

I need to tell him. He deserves to know, and there’s some chance that Jensen will come after him. I don’t want Levi to be blindsided.

I say, “You know I told you there’s a journalist looking into things?”

“You said he’s looking into the church.”

“More like he’s looking into Paul. Into Paul’s death.”

Levi stills but says nothing. He waits for me to go on.

“There’s some evidence that suggests Paul’s death was covered up. Which, of course, it was.”

Levi’s face scrunches as he thinks through things, trying to fit the pieces together. “Wasn’t he found in an alley? Wait. I read that some homeless man did it. But that means…”

“That was all a lie. It happened at the house. Ruby called two church board members over. They moved the body and staged things in the alley. I’m sure they killed that man to pin it on him. I’m sure they paid off the police too.”

Levi frowns, thinking. “Who are these two men? The board members.”

I take a deep breath. “One is dead. Henry Grigson. He died a few months ago. He was sick, I guess. Before he died, he confessed… well, I’m not sure exactly what he confessed, but he told enough to Jensen, the journalist, who’s an in-law of his, that Jensen has come hunting for a story.”

“So that guy’s dead. Who’s the other one?”

“His name is John Clifford.”

Levi’s eyebrows draw downward like he’s thinking. “I know that name. I did hear Ruby mention him, now that you say it, but I remember him also from the charity dinner. That first night I met you.”

My body stiffens. I can’t help it. “He’s very involved in the church.”

“And he covered up Paul’s death just to protect the church?”

My heart skips. My mind goes blank for a second.

“Ethan… did he…”

Normally, I can control my reactions, at least on the outside, but I’m so open and unguarded right now that I can’t.

When I start shivering, Levi mutters, “Jesus Christ. He did, didn’t he?”

My vision goes in and out for a second before I can focus, before I can confess, “Only a couple of times.”

Levi’s whole body strings tight, and his fingers, lightly resting at my nape, tighten in my hair. He’s angry. He’s very, very angry. But he catches himself. He opens his hand. He smooths my hair and forces himself to be gentle.

Levi says carefully, “I see.”

“Can you hand me my phone?”