Page 58 of The Way We Are Now

‘How could I forget?’ I took a long drink from the cold crisp liquid and leaned back in my chair.

‘That’s better,’ Theo said, reaching for my hand.

‘What is?’

‘You were like a coiled spring when I met you. Drink some more,’ he urged.

When I didn’t respond, Theo went on, ‘What is it, Anna? Was being at home with me last weekend and now again, here in Leeds, too much? Against those principles of yours? You’ve had time to think?’ His tone was teasing but I felt a wariness behind his comments.

‘No, no, no!’ I moved to kiss his mouth.

‘But you were irritable, stressed, angry when I met you this evening? I watched you walk along the concourse – you actually strode along – and I knew something was wrong.’

‘I’d just come to the conclusion I no longer like men.’

‘What? It suddenly hit you while you were walking through Leeds station?’ Theo sat back. ‘Anna, you haven’t decided you’re a lesbian since I saw you on Sunday?’

‘Would it matter if I were?’

Theo stared. ‘Erm, well, yes, practically anyway!’

His face was such a picture, I started to laugh. ‘I wasn’t going to say anything…’

‘Well, maybe now’s the time, you know before I really fall in love with you.’

In love with me? My heart soared.

‘…but up until fairly recently, I’d been seeing someone who works in the office with me.’

‘For the NUM?’

I nodded.

‘Not sure I can compete with that,’ Theo said, looking worried.

‘I’d finished the relationship but, on two occasions recently – this evening being the latest – he’s tried to, well, I suppose you’d call it sexual assault.’

Theo sat, open-mouthed. Eventually he said, ‘Go on.’

‘It’s just this idea that so many men hold, that we women are inferior beings; that we’re here solely for the use – and abuse – of men. Whether it be to make their coffee, cook their dinner, clean up after them, have their babies and stay at home while ruining our careers or…’ and here I paused, ‘that we must be up for it… that we’re easy game.’

‘My dad had his hands on your backside when you were dancing with him.’ Theo was unsmiling.

‘Oh, you noticed? It wasn’t the end of the world, Theo. It didn’t bother me. I mean, for heaven’s sake, there’ve been times when I’ve had a spliff or too much to drink and I’ve ended up stroking some man’s arse.’

‘Have you?’ Theo looked slightly worried. Whether it was the mention of the spliff or my goosing some unknown man, I wasn’t quite sure. ‘I was embarrassed about my dad,’ Theo went on. ‘He drinks too much. Always been one for a pretty face… you know?’

‘Different generation.’ I smiled. ‘Anyway, I determined, after this second assault on me at my desk, that I wasn’t going to be a victim. I wasn’t going to cry, I wasn’t going to go, boo hoo, poor me. Instead I was going to use it for a common good.’

‘Oh?’ Again, Theo appeared slightly worried.

‘Women’s rights. I’m going to become a lawyer taking on cases of domestic abuse, rape…’

‘Good for you. I’m sure you’ll get there…’ Theo broke off, looking up as a blonde walked over to him, bending to kiss his mouth in what could only be called a proprietorial manner. She whispered something in his ear and, without another word and certainly without acknowledging me whatsoever, walked slowly and deliberately back the way she’d come.

‘Sorry about that,’ Theo said, looking totally embarrassed. He reached for his glass, draining the contents. ‘Shall we go?’

‘Susannah?’ I asked.