Page 71 of The Way We Are Now

Fliss.

What would Fliss make of all this? What I’d give to be able to ring her now. To talk to her. To tell her what had happened. Where would she be? She’d be finishing her final year at Leeds, probably off to do a ski season or heading for London. Who knew? I thought of ringing Frank. He’d always been there for me and, while he’d have wholeheartedly endorsed the miners’ strike action, he wouldn’t have approved my being with Theo. I’d not been in touch with him for ages, not since he’d cycled over to see me once again and I’d told him about Theo. I’d been careless with his friendship and I felt ashamed. Theo had become so all-consuming, I realised, even before we’d bumped into each other in Rothersley only a couple of months previously.

Would Theo still want to be with me? I couldn’t imagine his parents ever welcoming me at Mandeville Hall after today’s little debacle. I hadn’t accrued too many brownie points when I’d met them at the hunt ball; I reckoned I was well into the red now.

The long night passed with me, every hour, on the hour, going back to reception to ask what was happening. The waiting room had emptied apart from myself and an old man who looked as if he’d taken root there. Venomous Veronica had obviously finished her shift, as she was replaced by a much pleasanter bloke called Sam who said once he knew anything he’d come and tell me. At around 3.30 a.m., when the sky was already heralding another blazing midsummer day, I wandered outside to get fresh air. There’s something about a hospital miasma that clings, drawing you in to its very centre, until you’re convinced you have every illness going yourself. I breathed in the sweet new morning air outside and knew I couldn’t leave until I’d seen Theo. Were Theo’s parents still here?

Around 8 a.m., Sam on reception took pity on me, bringing over a coffee and a bacon sandwich, putting them into my hands without a word before retreating back to his desk. The coffee was a godsend, and I gulped down the acrid liquid, burning my mouth as I did so, but needing some sort of hit to make sense of what to do next. The pungent-smelling sandwich lay untouched in front of me – the very thought of eating, despite having had nothing since Dad’s picnic, made me queasy. And all the while, the depleted waiting room began to fill up once more with the usual accident-prone kids and frail old ladies bearing the walking sticks that, this time, hadn’t prevented them falling.

Oh, Theo.

I felt my eyes close and my head jerk back up. How could I have dropped off? I got up, walked, stretched and contemplated the bacon sandwich still in my hand. At least it might keep me awake.

I realised I’d dropped off again, sandwich in hand, when I heard, drifting back down the corridor towards me, the cultured tones of several voices.

‘Typical. She makes poor Theo go to some war zone with her, he ends up here and she thinks it OK to put her feet up and feast on bacon sandwiches… Really, the utter cheek of these people…’

I jumped to my feet, tried to follow Theo’s two eldest sisters, but they’d already disappeared into the now-ascending lift on my right.

23

A little after 10 a.m., Theo’s two elder sisters walked back down the corridor and I stepped in front of them, blocking their way.

‘Hello, it’s Anna.’

‘We know perfectly well who you are,’ Araminta snapped. ‘You really shouldn’t be here. You’d do well to leave him alone at the moment.’

At the moment? Did that mean they’d endorse my being with Theo in the future?

‘Can I see him?’ I pleaded. ‘I won’t stay long, I promise. I just need to see him.’

‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, Annie…’

‘It’s Anna.’ I smiled.

‘Whatever. Look, you’ve only known him a few weeks. He can’t be that bothered about wanting to have you here.’

But I’ve been in love with him for almost eighteen months. I said the words in my head.

‘Anyway, he’s sleeping. Not to be disturbed.’

‘And,’ Vivienne now spoke, ‘I would imagine, after what you’ve put him through, you’re the last person he’d want to see.’ She paused, looking me up and down. ‘You look dreadful.’ The words weren’t said in empathy, more in disdain. ‘You need to go home and sort yourself out.’

‘Listen.’ It was Araminta’s turn again. ‘My parents have made it quite clear they’d like this friendship that Theo appears to have been… been seduced into to end.’

‘But that’s the thing,’ I pleaded. ‘Theo’s just that. He’s my friend and…’

‘Some friend.’ Vivienne took up the baton once more. ‘You and your brother just left him there. He might as well have caught a bullet on the Somme.’ Vivienne was obviously pleased with herself for this World War I analogy and glanced back at Araminta, who nodded her approval. ‘Please, just go home, and leave our family alone.’ And then, when I found I couldn’t get the words out, she added, quite viciously, ‘I’m assuming you saw where Theo lives and thought all your Christmases had come at once?’

‘No, no…’

‘Oh, no, of course, there was more than that, wasn’t there? You accused him of murdering your friend, I believe? Some escort girl, wasn’t it? Your usual friends are prostitutes, are they? Quite a climb up the social ladder then, to find you’d cast your net at Theodore and caught him.’

‘No, no, no,’ I said again. ‘It wasn’t like that.’ I felt myself start to feel angry on Fliss’s behalf. She might, technically, have sold her body for cash like any street walker, but surely she wasn’t a prostitute? ‘Look, please can you tell me how he is at least? And then I’ll go.’

‘Theo had surgery during the night to remove two of his fingers…’

I felt myself reel, felt the earth spin, but held on to the wall behind me.