Page 94 of The Way We Are Now

I racked my poor befuddled brain. Did all women feel like this so early on in pregnancy or was it just my age? ‘Well, I don’t know what it’s about,’ I said irritably. I sat down but kept my jacket on. ‘Tell her she can have five minutes.’

I stood to welcome the newcomer, hand outstretched, and knew instantly what all this was about. My pulse raced, but I managed, calmly enough, to get out, ‘You’re Theo Mandeville’s wife?’

‘How clever of you. I don’t think we’ve met?’

‘I’ve seen photographs of you,’ I replied, taking in the blonde bob, the high cheekbones, the rather small mouth.

‘And I you. May I sit?’

‘Of course. How can I help you?’ I sipped at a glass of water, anything to steady my nerves and stop my voice coming out in the squeaky falsetto I didn’t recognise as my own.

‘Well, I think there’s only one thing you can help me with.’

‘Oh?’ I plastered a rictus smile that wasn’t going to fool anyone, let alone this sophisticated, confident, slightly brittle woman sitting opposite me in my office.

‘Please leave my husband alone. You did enough damage twenty years ago, first accusing him of murdering your friend at university and then taking him into a war zone. He’d have been a professional squash player by now if not for you.’

And, if he was, you wouldn’t have ended up with him, I thought without speaking the words out loud. Instead I said, ‘Theo and his family had every right to believe I am to blame for taking him to Orgreave. It’s something I’ve had to carry – and regret – since the day it happened.’

‘Well, I don’t wish to go over old ground.’ Honor Mandeville offered up a little on/off smile and sat back in her chair. ‘Suffice it to say, his family and I need him at home at the moment…’

Was she giving me permission to have Theo at a later date? Hope flared. Was she wanting him home to help with Angus and then she’d reconsider? Did she realise her marriage was over?

‘…where he belongs,’ she continued. ‘On the estate and with me and our family.’

‘Do you not think you should be having this conversation with Theo, rather than me?’

‘He doesn’t know I’m here,’ she said. ‘I have to say, I was a bit concerned he might be here, with you, at your office. That would have been fun, wouldn’t it?’

If the woman’s idea of fun was this, I’d hate to think what her definition of misery might be.

‘May I ask how Angus is?’ I knew I was playing for time, but I genuinely did want to know about Theo’s son.

‘Well, I’m here. He’s actually much better. I’ve been able to leave him for a few hours. Thought I’d give him a chance to rest and, instead, come and meet you. I’ll stay with Theo tonight in Holland Park. I’m assuming you know the house? Visited it? Stayed there?’

When I didn’t reply, couldn’t reply, she leaned forwards and held my eye. ‘Of course you have. Now,’ she went on briskly as though moving through a meeting agenda, ‘Angus will recover from the meningitis…’

‘I’m so pleased.’ I really was.

‘…but, as they feared, he has suffered permanent hearing loss and will possibly be prone to epilepsy. I was told the news this morning after Theo had left. I need to speak to my husband before we have to break the news to Angus together. No sixteen-year-old boy wants to hear this, as I’m sure you can imagine? Or maybe not, seeing as you don’t have any children of your own, I believe?’

‘Of course you must tell your son this together.’

‘Good. So, I can see you understand, Ms Piasecki. Theo needs to be with his family.’

‘Well… yes.’ I could see, totally.

‘Good. Good, I’m so pleased you and I agree on that score.’

I stared, my heart plummeting. I wasn’t going to have Theo, after all. I had to give him back to his family.

Honor gave a little tinkle of laughter. ‘Now, that was the bad news I have to break to Theo, but luckily I have good news as well. Rather wonderful news,’ she added somewhat coyly.

‘Oh?’

‘Yes, Theo and I are to have another child.’

I stared. This wasn’t true. She was making it up. She must be!